Why do people not like change

Why are changes so difficult for us?

Change behavior - get out of the habit!

We know rationally that changes are necessary. We have to develop and move with the times. And have more courage to change. But why is it so difficult for us?

Most people love the security, the routine.

Routines simplify our lives in many areas. Routines, however, also prevent the courage and willingness to try new things.

You may know this yourself: Every year - at the turn of the year - we think about good resolutions. We are determined to make a goal a reality. But after a few days the "Schlendrian" greets us and everything is back to normal.

But why do we find it so difficult to implement changes into action, even though it was our own wish?


Behavioral patterns have a firm grip on us

Our daily routine is determined by countless recurring processes: when does the alarm clock go off, when do we have breakfast, do we drink coffee or tea with it, what music does it do? It is regulated at what time the children have to be driven to kindergarten, when we drive to work, which way we take to work and when the end of the day is heralded ... Whether and when we go to sports, watch TV or just lounge on the couch. All of this gives us structure and is determined by a fixed behavior pattern.

These habits and routines create fixed behavior patterns. This happens almost unnoticed. As a result, we no longer need to worry about many things, because habits create framework conditions that unconsciously help us to make decisions.

Many everyday objects are assigned a place in our "four walls". We too. We have a permanent place at the dining table, on the sofa or in bed. This is completely normal.

Or do you always take a seat elsewhere? How does it feel when someone is sitting in your usual place?

Countless, sometimes “unwritten” rules of conduct are also exercised at work. Much is regulated and we therefore know exactly what and when to do something. These framework conditions provide structure and security.

Sometimes we wish the devil the habits we have come to love! And we notice that they are limiting us and that we are thus falling short of our possibilities. But then we don't get anywhere and get stuck in our comfort zone.

Why is that? Why don't we manage to turn “the switch”? Even if we have made up our minds - even promised to change something. We know about it, but does that change anything?

Why is it difficult to change habits?

As a rule, we are only ready to change for two reasons: Either we want something from the bottom of our hearts and are intrinsically motivated, or fear drives us to change. These 2 factors are very distinctive.

Motivated by fear, many changes are implemented much faster and more consistently. Changes that are intrinsically motivated are great, but are subject to much more intense battles with our "inner weaker self".

In principle, change requires a large portion of self-discipline. A lot of people know this: You have decided to lose weight. After a few weeks everything will be the same. They then tell themselves that they were not self-disciplined enough or get the lack of self-discipline mirrored by their surroundings.

Self-discipline is important to achieve your goals. The focus on the goal and the irrepressible will to persevere. These are necessary ingredients to achieve the desired result. But many people forget that changes in behavior take a long time to come. That is why a clear strategy and approach is required.

Nevertheless: if you really want to change your behavior in the long term, you can do it!


Changing behavior: reaching your goal step by step

Who does not know that? When we want to change something, we often set very big goals for ourselves. With that we unconsciously make it much more difficult for ourselves. Because big changes in behavior cost us a lot of effort to consistently stick to them, even when things don't go well. At the beginning we have a lot of motivation and the discipline to achieve the desired goal. And then: A short time later we fall back into familiar behavior patterns.

It is often the case that we have to leave our personal comfort zone, especially when there are major changes in behavior. We now feel rather insecure and uncomfortable, despite the fact that we want the change ourselves. And that is how we come into conflict with ourselves. It always unconsciously pulls us back to where we are safe. That's why we don't like change.

But change, change and progress are important components in our life. Whether in the private or professional area. So what does it take to change behavior?


  1. Target in focus

If we are really ready to change something, then the goal, the result of what is to be achieved, has to be really clear. It is therefore important to state clearly what is to be achieved, by when and how.

  1. environment

An environment that supports us in our endeavors is worth its weight in gold. It provides support and at the same time motivates you to stay on the ball and work on your goals. If an environment reacts negatively to efforts to change one's behavior, it is helpful to avoid it. The negative environment will always only cast doubts.

  1. Small steps

Visions and big goals are great things. But if you really want to change something, it is important to divide the goals into many small sub-goals. We all like the feeling of having achieved something. It gives us reassurance and a good feeling that we are on the right track.

  1. regularity

Routine, habits, structure. We can only achieve this if we do something very often and regularly. No matter whether it's brushing your teeth, morning coffee or fitness. If we want to change something, we have to make an effort at the beginning. Only if we do the activity regularly, if it has a fixed place in our daily or weekly routine, changes have a chance to become our habits.

  1. reward

Getting something new to become a habit often takes more effort. This is why it is so important to set partial goals in such a way that they can be achieved with a little incentive. And when the sub-goal is achieved, one should reward oneself and be proud of what has already been started.