Is good advice to yourself

There is a coaching question that I always like to ask: What would you advise your girlfriend if she came to you with exactly this topic? It brings us so well from the internal perspective into the external perspective and reveals what is exactly right for us in the situation now.

Because basically we know exactly what we really need at the moment, but for some reason we don't want to see or hear it. Mostly it's an inconvenient truth.

Most of my coaching clients can quickly and reliably give advice, especially because they love their girlfriend and want the best for her. But if we then turn back to them and find that this advice is now the best for them, then the "Yes, but ..." reappear. And these "yes, but ..." stand in the way of a good solution. Because the best solution is usually not within, but outside of the comfort zone.

"Yes, but ..." and what that has to do with self-love

But why is it that it would be so easy for us to give this advice to a loved one, but that we cannot accept it for ourselves? Most of the time, we don't love ourselves the way we love other people. We don't believe that we deserve the best and instead we come around the corner with a lot of “yes, but ...”.

It's a shame, isn't it? We know the right answer, but we can't put it into practice because we don't love ourselves enough.

The exercise today is not easy, but it is worth it: Think of a problem in your life, something that you cannot solve and that your thoughts revolve around. Then look for the photo of someone you love very much. Imagine if he or she came to you with this problem. What would you advise her to do? Say the sentences really out loud and don't just think them. Have a conversation with the photo and imagine how you are helping her. It can happen at such moments that you don't listen to yourself carefully.

To avoid this, you could record what you are saying (it's great with a cell phone!). So you can listen to it again later. And you already have a solution for your problem. Trust yourself: you already know the solution to your problem and you also know what exactly you have to do.

Do you find this exercise easy or difficult? Why? I would be happy to discuss this with you in the comments.