Undercover narcissists dismiss you permanently
Topic: boss / executives
The best far and wide
"Just idiots around me who do everything wrong ..." he mostly talks and prefers to talk about himself or about the fact that nothing would be the way it is if he hadn't made it that way?
Does he look like a boss and is he always dressed correctly? Does he always try to give his appearance a personal touch? In his office you will discover awards, certificates and trophies from him that prove his skills.
Then you may have a narcissist in front of you. This radiant, confident demeanor also has its downsides. A narcissist is rarely critical and is more likely to blame you for a mistake or a failed project than allowing their facade to be scratched.
These bosses prefer yes-men as employees, in whose admiration they bask and whose subservience to crawling they encourage. The tendency of narcissistic managers to develop more or less conscious feelings of envy towards employees makes the working atmosphere more difficult. The narcissist experiences the professional success of others and the satisfaction they have gained from their work as a danger and insult to themselves. It becomes dangerous for you too if you show him too clearly that you are equal to him in competence, if not superior to him or if he is feels embarrassed by you in front of colleagues or customers. Conflicts with him can lead to the end of your career in his company faster than you would like.
The weakness in personnel management often shows through high fluctuation. The behavioral style of narcissistic personalities makes it too difficult for them to empathize with other people.
In difficult situations and during important conversations, it is better to refrain from emphasizing yourself too much in his presence. Better give him your unreserved admiration, also in your demeanor and voice - but without ingratiating yourself too much. When it comes to developing a project for which you have an idea, inconspicuously give him clues that guide his mindset in the direction you want him to go and then let him feel that everything was his idea would. You should only bother him with problems if it is tricky enough for him to boast of his solution, or if he speaks to you about it on his own initiative. However, if a problem discussion cannot be avoided or if there is something to criticize, wait for a point in time when he has just returned from a flight of highs. Be very careful with this and, above all, present him with solid, factual evidence of your criticism so that he cannot accuse you of trying to snub him on a whim.
Everything has two sides, including narcissism: it depends on the right amount. Life is not possible without a certain amount of self-love, especially not in that of a manager: A high self-esteem, a talent for impressive representation and theatrical self-portrayal give leaders a special shine. Otherwise you might seem boring. Or would you rather have a lackluster boss?
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