Can one man love more than one woman

Doctor Sex: "Can you love two people at the same time?"


After 13 years of marriage, Max met another woman and immediately lost his heart to her.

Question from Max (39) to Doctor Sex: I've been married for 13 years. Since the birth of our second child, my wife has stopped wanting to have sex. Since I needed this, however, I met with escort ladies for it. I never had a good feeling and the sex wasn't particularly good either, because emotionally I was doing something forbidden. About two years ago I met a married mother. We agreed to have sex but fell in love with each other.

I've already thought about leaving my wife, but I don't want to lose my children. My new love thinks that nothing is going on between me and my wife and therefore wishes for a future with me. But if my wife wants sex, I don't turn her down, otherwise she could become suspicious. I really love the other woman. At the same time, however, I don't know whether I still love my wife.

Can you love two people at the same time? How can I make a decision for a woman? I don't dare to end the affair because I fear that it will take revenge on me and that I will lose my family as a result. It is clear that neither of the two women would share me with the other. So I let them both believe that each is the only one for me. What should I do?

Dear Max

Love is arguably the most abused word. It can be used for any purpose. The religions speak of the unconditional love of creation for the creature and of charity. This is also used by aid organizations when it comes to raising money for the poorest and most needy in the world.

In the social context, the spectrum ranges broadly from the love or sympathy that one shows colleagues and friends, through that for relatives to that for the closest family members - that is, the love for the children and the partner. The latter is also known as "romantic" love.

And finally there are also forms of love for plants and animals, for literature, music, all kinds of objects and properties, for places, activities and circumstances. No wonder that confusion arises again and again when it comes to an appropriate use or a binding definition of the term.

Personally, I find that you can love several people. However, that doesn't mean doing the same with everyone. But I cannot present you with an objective yardstick by which you can find out whether this also applies to you. You therefore have to research yourself which criteria you want to base your decision on.

For me personally, what is definitely mutually exclusive is love and lies. I am convinced that love is based on honesty - towards myself and other people. Taking advantage of me by hiding the facts from someone is therefore not an option. Just as little as letting the part of me take the lead that is discouraged and cowardly.

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