What are some common goals in life
Your: e partner: in has different goals in life than you - can you still have a future together?
It is a problem that mostly couples who started their relationship very young. Life was still ahead of them, they were in love, all that counted was their shared beautiful moments, their love for one another. But as the years went by, life experiences grew; The wishes for life, the ideas about their own future took on concrete features - and suddenly the lovers notice that they are not at all on the same wavelength in their life planning. Do you feel that you love your: n partner: in, but have completely different goals in life than he: her?
Your ideas about life diverge: What solutions are there for this problem?
If your relationship is actually intact, you and your partner: have built up a good common basis in you over the last few years, and above all you love him: you, of course, you don't want a separation.
Nevertheless, it cannot be dismissed out of hand that with the diversity of your goals in life you are faced with a problem that, unresolved, will lead you deeper and deeper into a dead end.
You want children, he: them by no means or vice versa. You feel uncomfortable and under pressure in a performance society and wish you a simple, self-sufficient life as possible, while he: she strives for material prosperity and social recognition or vice versa. You want to travel the world and experience a lot, but he: she feels most comfortable in the village in his: her parents' house and longs for peace and a stable social environment or vice versa. There are many examples of how concepts of life drift apart, how contradicting they can be.
In theory, there are three conceivable solutions to this dilemma:
1. One of the two gives up his life ideas and adapts to: the partner: in
2. You and your partner find a compromise in which everyone makes sacrifices and comes towards the other.
3. You separate from each other and you look for yourself: e other: n partner: in with similar goals in life.
Can it make sense to give up your own ideas about life for: the partner: in?
Completely giving up personal desires and life plans and still becoming happy only rarely works and you should be careful about making this great sacrifice out of love for your: your partner: in - even if he: she threatens you with a separation and you're scared of losing him: losing her. After all, what you want in life is also a part of your personality and has developed in the course of your life through all your experiences.
Such radical decisions against themselves usually not only make the person unhappy who has given up their ideas about life, but also lead to an inharmonious relationship full of arguments and accusations. Even if you manage to suppress the longing for your own desires for the time being and honestly get involved in the life concept of your: your partner: in the course of your life together according to his: their ideas, you can develop frustration because of your unfulfilled desires don't let go of you inside Secretly you give your: your partner: the guilt for your emotional dissatisfaction and become more irritated in everyday interaction and deal less lovingly with your: your partner: in - possibly even without consciously wanting it and without your: e partner: in ever understands what's going on.
When is it worth making compromises?
The most beautiful solution in a harmonious relationship that is based on love, but which lacks common goals in life, are compromises that ensure mutual happiness. You and your: e partner: in comes to meet each other. You give up a part of your life goal, he: she a part of his: hers and you change your needs in a direction that makes both of you happy.
This solution requires a lot of communication, understanding of the: the other: n and a mutual willingness to approach the other and to place personal development next to the relationship and the personal development of: the partner: partner, so that the relationship remains balanced and not one of you sacrifices almost everything, but the other almost nothing.
When is a separation the better solution?
There are people whose desires are so intense and decisive for their quality of life and personal happiness that a compromise is simply out of the question - and certainly not giving up their own ideas about life.
Then the loss of the partnership - as painful as it may be at first - is ultimately better than giving up the desire to live.
Often when you break up with someone you love, with whom you actually don't want to break up and with whom you have built a good basis, the fear that you will never again experience a relationship of such quality and the separation forever will regret. Perhaps you feel the same way, or you are afraid of not finding any: n other: n partner: in who: shares your own ideas and has to stay alone in the end.
Since people usually long for intimate bonds, a breakup is likely to be the best solution for you if there are other people around you who share your wishes and with whom you can live out your ideas so that you can also do without Relationship can become happy. This is difficult for men and women who dearly want children - a: e partner: in is ultimately almost essential.
The best solution remains individual
There are nearly eight billion people in the world and therefore nearly eight billion personalities. What doesn't work for a great many people may be just right for a few. Therefore, the best solution to most interpersonal problems is and remains individual. So also the answer to the question of whether a common future is possible despite different ideas about life or a separation is better.
Most people remain or become unhappy at some point if they completely sacrifice their life plans. But there are also men and women who under no circumstances wanted children and then built a heartfelt love for their children. There are people who have dreamed of having a lot of money and being popular everywhere, and then found their fulfillment in growing their own vegetables and only having the closest people around them. There are people who under no circumstances wanted to leave the familiar borders of their home village, and then were absolutely entranced by the beauty of other parts of the world and wanted to see what the world still has to offer. Life ideas and desires can change.
Likewise, a relationship can be so beautiful and fulfilling that despite all the opposites in life planning, a separation becomes extremely painful and the lovers never really get over it - even if they find a: n other: n partner: in, with which: which they can live out their dreams.
And of course there are also couples who have worked out long and detailed compromises in order to save the relationship - but in the end split up because their wishes were simply too important to both partners to give up part of them or for completely different reasons .
We hope you find an answer to this difficult question that suits you and your personality!
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