What is a manipulator
17 tips for dealing with manipulators
Above all, you are traveling unfairly and in your own interest. The focus is on gaining an advantage, the price should be paid by other people. Unfortunately, there are too many manipulative personalities in the wild. But they know how to camouflage themselves. Not every attempt to manipulate ourselves to our disadvantage is immediately obvious. Many a professional manipulator comes in sheep's clothing.
17 Notes by which you can recognize manipulators
The easiest way to recognize them is how we feel around them. Those who know themselves well notice the unpleasant gut feeling. It signals; look closer!
Typical signs that it is a manipulator:
There's a fair in heaven and you were the guest of honor. Experienced manipulators are good liars. At this point, GOOD means that they are difficult to get caught doing. They often hide the typical hints for lies exceptionally well or they make us ignore them.
2. Exaggerated openness
Manipulators are often overly open. They want to appear more honest and encourage other people to reveal more about themselves. They can then shamelessly exploit that.
3. Appeal to the conscience
Manipulators often refer to values that are close to their victims' hearts. These are then used to develop compassion and concern for the interests of the manipulator. Who wants to violate their values?
4. Promote feelings of guilt
Manipulators are not themselves to blame for something, unless it is an advantageous trick. With other people, however, guilt feelings come in handy because they make you more cautious. Anyone who feels guilty no longer pays attention to their own needs and feels obliged. Even the physiology, which is assumed when feeling guilty, ensures that the inner balance is disturbed. And manipulators know how to get us there.
While most people still have to turn the pages to find out what a double bind is, manipulators are already making great use of them. If it weren't so vile, we might as well admire them for their abilities. But it leads to the dark side of power.
You give compliments that are actually a number too heavy, but who cares? Flattery of the ego is gladly accepted, and no aftertaste changes that. When it comes down to it, they are the most pleasant people to talk to. Experienced manipulators anchor good conditions right at the beginning so that we wish, and even miss, their closeness and benevolence. The net contracts imperceptibly.
Manipulators know the personal buttons of their chosen victims and press them without hesitation. At first it may be perceived as attention, but then it takes revenge too early to have talked out of the sewing box.
The less self-reflection their potential victims practice, the easier it is for manipulators. Those who know their own sore spots let them heal and take care of themselves.
Sometimes they twist the facts so tremendously that we develop doubts even where we were just about certain. Reframing is in their tool case and they know how to bend reality powerfully.
7. Play yourself victim
Manipulators step on other people's feet and they should then apologize.
Nasty influencers like to make themselves victims because they enjoy some protection behind which they can hide. It also increases the pressure from observers. Who will be mean to be sacrificed?
8. Make it harder to think
Manipulators go to great lengths to prevent clear thoughts. Otherwise that could lead to someone discovering them. So work with smoke candles, red herrings and indignation.
Manipulators only have their own interests in mind, and when other people play a role, it is only to strengthen their own interests.
10. Taking advantage of good-naturedness
Manipulators take advantage of good-naturedness even where other people would be inhibited. Even rhetorical concessions are gladly taken under control and literally, only to be demanded carved in stone.
11. Lack of distance
Manipulators are often without a distance and thus throw one off concept.
Manipulators know what we want to hear, or what makes us do what they want. It usually takes some time to recognize that manipulators are ready to consider statements and actual behavior separately. Where promises are sacred to other people, they only know their own interests.
13. Name dropping
Manipulators tend to upgrade themselves by trying to create an impression with titles, names of famous people and all sorts of status symbols.
14. Fake helpfulness
They like to pretend helpfulness, but they expect a multiple in interest if they finally help at all. Everything is a means to an end and once you have your foot in the door, then it starts.
15. Linguistic fluency
Linguistic dexterity is a valued skill. But it can be abused and manipulators come in handy. Widdewiddewitt and three makes nine !! I make the world of Aries the way I like it…. Hey - Pippi Longstocking trallari trallerah tralla ...
Clear communication is avoided and the answers to questions are often only evasive.
16. Gut feeling
We may seldom trust our gut feeling, but it often reports very early if something is wrong. Then the words for it are often missing and that's why we don't trust the feeling, but in such cases it is worthwhile to take a closer look and listen. The gut feeling is based on experience and takes into account subtle hints that the conscious mind does not notice.
17. Additional perspective
Include people you trust and then form your own opinion.
How to protect yourself from manipulation
In order to protect yourself from manipulators, it is important to know your own values and priorities. Anyone who is able to recognize indications of the properties of a manipulator can learn to deal with such people and their attempts at manipulation.
How? How To Recognize The 11 Most Common Manipulation Techniques
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