What is your experience with tantric sex

Tantric rituals for more (self) love & intimacy

You have probably come across the term "tantric sex" before. Perhaps you associate it with something similar to the Kamasutra, which involves a series of sexual positions, or multiple orgasms that run through to infinity (... that would be nice).

In reality, Kamasutra and "tantric sex" have absolutely nothing to do with each other. In fact, tantra has little to do with sexuality itself.

How tantric rituals can help you to achieve more (self) love and intimacy, you will find out in this article.

Before I recommend a few tantric rituals for Valentine's Day that you can practice both for yourself and with your partner, I would first like to dispel a few myths about the topic of tantra.

Because tantra or tantrism is not about crazy sex practices, as is usually assumed in our western understanding, but a sacred and millennia-old philosophy that regards sexuality as a part of spiritual practice and even enlightenment. In this way, Tantra differs from many other spiritual philosophies, where sexuality is mostly associated with impurity or energetic loss.

Tantric sex as such does not exist in this sense, only tantra as a holistic practice with Hindu origins. Tantrism helps you to become aware of the presence and beyond of your own - not only spiritual but also physical - energies in an intimate and connected way.

This, too, distinguishes Tantra from many other spiritual movements, in which the emphasis is mostly placed on spiritual, immaterial experiences and spheres instead of equating them with human, physical experiences - which can often lead to a kind of dissonance between body and soul. But tantra is about unity. It's about the limitless merging between the material and immaterial aspects of our being.

Not without reason, in the ancient Indian language Sanskrit, Tantra means something like continuum or context. Applied tantric rituals therefore allow you to live with more intimate connection and greater freedom. Tantrism also helps you to expand your senses, sensuality and the way you love yourself and others beyond the boundaries of terms and conditions. In addition, being in the present moment is a symbol of the emotional connection to the universe - similar to the merging between ourselves and our partner during the sexual act.

Therefore, Tantra can definitely intensify your sexual experience - because the act itself is viewed as a spiritual practice in which our mind and body become one - both with our counterpart and with the universe. Therefore, in Tantra, orgasm is also referred to as a fleeting experience of enlightenment.

But how can you apply tantric rituals and practices concretely? To do this, you should first know that you don't necessarily need a counterpart in Tantra. And even if you want to practice Tantra with your partner, it is advisable to try Tantra only for yourself at first. Because in order to become intimate with a counterpart and to be able to fully enjoy this connectedness, you first have to experience that intimacy, love and that trust in yourself. Because the source of all love that we give and receive lies in ourselves.

Tantric ritual for more self-love

A tantric ritual that I learned during my Tantra Yoga training and that I now use in each of my Women Circles is the active meditation of self-touch. And this does not mean masturbation (which of course also wonderfully serves our own intimacy and self-love and can be part of that ritual), but rather the mindful and conscious caressing of our body.

You can turn on sensual music, light candles and incense sticks, dim the lights and lie in your bed or on your yoga mat. Close your eyes and start gently feeling every inch of your body - from head to toe - with your fingertips. After you have gently felt your entire body (and possibly discovered new erogenous zones), you can intensify the touch and massage yourself. Touch every curve, every dent and every edge of your body full of admiration, love and gratitude.

After you have done this, you can then touch yourself in the way you would like to be touched by someone else - you can curiously watch where your hands and fingers lead you. This self-awareness reveals new insights into your sexuality, your preferences and your enjoyment. In addition, this ritual shows you that you don't need a counterpart to give your body passion, sensuality and arousing admiration.

Tantric ritual for more intimacy with your partner

After you've tried tantra for yourself and increased the intimacy between yourself and your body, you can involve tantra in your sexual relationships to create more connection (and maybe even one or the other multiple orgasms). If you want to slowly approach Tantra with a counterpart, I recommend eye gazing with gentle touch.

This practice is a wonderful way to get intimate with one another in a non-sexual way. Eye gazing is about looking yourself in the eye for a period of at least three minutes without verbal communication. And as simple as this ritual may sound, it helps you to show yourself to be vulnerable and to reflect yourself in your counterpart. This in turn ensures the merging between you and your partner, as well as during the sexual act itself or the unity of our being, the present moment and the universe.

During this ritual you will also become aware of how seldom we look each other in the eye these days without averting our eyes or perceiving other stimuli - maybe it will even seem uncomfortable to you and trigger one or the other reaction. If it feels intuitively right, you can then exchange gentle touches with your counterpart - without taking your eyes off your eyes and without verbally communicating with each other. Notice how intense and stimulating this experience can be.

If you want to bring Tantra to the sexual level in your relationship, you can first meditate together with your partner before sex (ideally naked) in order to find your inner center and then practice synchronized breathing. In doing so, you coordinate the rhythm of inhaling and exhaling to ensure unity and fusion. Afterwards, similar touches can be exchanged, as in the tantric ritual for more self-love, i.e. different intensities of caresses.

Different rhythms can also be tried out in the sexual act itself in order to increase arousal and intensify orgasms. So you can do 6 soft penetrations and one deep penetration together, or try a combination of 5-1, 4-1, 3-1, 2-1, 1-1 - with the first number for the soft and the second number stands for deep penetrations (you can of course also apply this principle for yourself during your masturbation).

Tantra in everyday life

Tantra is of course not just something for Valentine's Day, but can - and should even - be integrated into your life as a mindfulness practice for more (self) love, intimacy and connectedness. In addition to the rituals mentioned above, you can use small tantric practices in your everyday life, such as touching yourself more every day and giving yourself tenderness by hugging yourself before falling asleep and caressing your arms, or naked in front of the morning Standing in the mirror and touching your body with love and gratitude. You can also incorporate Tantra into your yoga practice by practicing Kaula Tantra Yoga or Yin Yoga with a focus on your first two chakras.

But the easiest way to integrate Tantra into any moment of your life is to keep directing your attention to your breathing, the present moment and all of the sensory stimuli in your body and to feel self-love and sensuality. This makes every day Valentine's Day!

You have probably come across the term "tantric sex" before. Perhaps you associate it with something similar to the Kamasutra, which involves a series of sexual positions, or multiple orgasms that run through to infinity (... that would be nice).

Sabine Reiter is a make-up artist. In her Venus Moments Masterclass she will initiate you in self-love rituals and techniques for natural make-up.

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