How do you define a healthy marriage

Happy relationship: the most important things in a partnership

Humor, honesty and loyalty are probably the most common answers to the questions: "What qualities should the perfect partner have?" and "What are the building blocks of a happy relationship?"

But while these points are important cornerstones of a long-term relationship, there are many more things that are essential for a happy relationship. After all, a partnership is a complex and individual construct between two people.

Can relationships last forever and ever?

Yes! Countless marriages that have lasted more than 50 years prove it. But what is the secret of a long and above all happy relationship? Ultimately, it's more than loyalty, humor, or sex - a relationship is usually based on hard work. Because you will not always be on the same wavelength as your partner. Regardless of whether it is children, the professional situation or the daily grind: In the course of your life you will always be faced with new hurdles that will challenge you and your partner. The trick is to stick together even in severe crises and to overcome obstacles together.

Of course, every relationship is individual and is influenced by a wide variety of factors. Because of this, there is no one-size-fits-all recipe for an everlasting relationship. However, there are particularly important things in a partnership that contribute to a long-term and happy relationship.

Relationships can last forever and ever. But what is the secret of a long and happy relationship? Author: Cherries | Adobe Stock © Cherries | Adobe Stock

15 things that make a long and happy relationship

In order to have a long and happy relationship, not only a lot has to fit. The will to work continuously on the relationship and thus to contribute to the common happiness is an important point when it comes to a long and happy relationship that should also last in the future.

But what are the most important things in a relationship? Which factors contribute to an everlasting partnership? What causes some couples to have a happy relationship for life, while others are single again after a short time?

In the following we introduce you to the 15 most important points for a happy relationship.

1. Communication is the first step to happiness

Talking openly with one another regularly and addressing negative things directly is what makes a good and, above all, happy relationship. If couples manage to resolve problems quickly, this improves the quality of the relationship and can protect against future crises. It is not only up to the woman to seek conversation on a regular basis. The man should also enjoy communicating freely with his partner. The art is to take the open communication level from the early days, when you get to know each other and talk a lot, into everyday life.

If conflicts are not carried out in difficult situations, but rather smolder under the surface for a long time, it may at some point be too late. Problems that have not been discussed for a long time can lead to dissatisfaction, doubts about the relationship, an affair or even a breakup. So communication is an essential part of a happy relationship.

Addressing even difficult topics and clarifying them together in a quiet conversation is possible in a relationship with stable communication. Regularly exchanging ideas and talking about your own well-being within the partnership protects against losing touch with the other. For this it is important to regularly take time for each other and not just live next to each other.

2. Security and Reliability

Those who stick to agreements and are there for the other when things go badly not only show their partner respect, but also convey security. Feeling secure with a partner is essential for many people in order to be happy in a relationship in the long term. After all, social security is an important human need.

Support and reliability are therefore essential things in a good relationship. Anyone who prefers to meet up with friends in a partner's personal crisis situations or who do not keep to agreements should reconsider their willingness to establish relationships.

3. Honesty and trust are closely related

That honesty is part of a good relationship is clear and a question of respect. Couples with a good level of conversation should naturally have no problem with this. They are close to their partner, are happy, and want the relationship to work. With lies and dishonesty they would not get very far and would stand in the way of their own happiness. Because without honesty, jealousy usually arises.

The same goes for trust. Those who are closely connected with their partner and have a sincere relationship with a lot of communication automatically trust them. Jealousy is not a problem in this case and cannot harm the relationship. If you catch your partner lying, your trust will be shaken and you will start to doubt everything. There is a lot of truth in the saying “If you lie once, you won't believe him”. In practice this means: Anyone who has gambled away the trust of their partner will have to do a lot to regain it in the future.

4. Sex as an important part of a happy relationship

Sex is an important part of a relationship. It creates closeness between two people and strengthens the feeling of togetherness. Sex is not only happy, it is also great fun. Researchers have found through studies that it is not so important how often couples have sex. No matter whether you are a man or a woman: The most important thing is that they perceive him as beautiful and satisfying. According to the researchers, over time, quality becomes more important than frequency. It is crucial that both the man and the woman are satisfied with the status quo.

But be careful: sex offers a lot of potential for problems in a relationship:

  • one wants more often than the other
  • one of them has pain during sex
  • the man comes too early or the woman doesn't come at all
  • sex is perceived as boring and unsatisfactory
  • neither strive for a fulfilling sex life

Many of these problems suggest a lack of communication or other deep problems in the relationship. It is normal that couples no longer have sex every day after the first phase of being in love has subsided, or that children reduce their previous intimacy and togetherness and should not be a cause for alarm. It is important to speak openly about sex and to approach it in a relaxed manner. It's important in a relationship, but there are many more things that are also important. Sex therefore does not exclusively define happiness or the quality of a relationship.

Sex is an important part of a happy relationship. But humor, honesty and open communication are also part of a long-term partnership. Author: LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS | Adobe Stock © LIGHTFIELD STUDIOS | Adobe Stock

5. Design your free time together

Shared hobbies and activities are also important things in a relationship. They testify to common interests and ensure that couples can share their experiences together. In addition, joint activities weld together and increase the happiness in relationships. Memories for the future are created and the couple's bond becomes closer. Even if it's nice to lie on the couch together: To consciously go outside and experience adventures is important for a balanced and happy partnership.

6. Celebrate your own love

Setting an anniversary is nice, celebrating your own love regularly is even better. Choosing a day a week that is reserved exclusively for the partner strengthens the relationship, increases happiness and satisfaction. A visit to a restaurant, a visit to the cinema, a joint cooking evening with the children or just a walk can be planned for this evening.

Those who consciously take time for their relationship and their partner make them feel valuable. It is not a matter of course that a partnership will last for many months, years or even decades. It is important for a good relationship to be regularly aware of what you have in your wife or husband and to express this appreciation in your behavior. This also includes telling yourself regularly that you love each other.

Even if the behavior and gestures often say more than words, it is good to hear “I love you” from the other person. How often couples say this to each other comes with time and is individually different - it is important that it should always be meant that way and that the other person feels the intense meaning of these words.

7. Friendship as the secret of a happy relationship

Couples whose communication also takes place on a friendly basis and who discuss both profound and everyday matters with one another often see their partner as their greatest confidante. Moving houses or spending hours in a restaurant over red wine and pizza to discuss God and the world does not only work with friends, but also in a partnership.

To be connected with the partner not only on a love, but also on a friendship level is a great asset and increases your own satisfaction with the relationship considerably.

For this it is important to appreciate him as a person and to actually want to cultivate the relationship. In long-term partnerships, the partners increasingly become a team that goes through life together. A deep friendship is an important basis for this.

8. Opposition or lock step - which fits better?

Opinions are divided between “like and like like to join” and “opposites attract”. Everyone has different needs in a partnership. While some get bored with too much harmony, others will not get along with someone who has a completely different attitude to life than they do.

Even if opposites certainly bring a lot of exciting impulses into a relationship and the partners can inspire each other with their different character traits and views, basically similar ideas about life do not harm. After all, at some point in a relationship it's no longer just about whether you go to a rock or pop concert in the evening, or watch a thriller or a romance movie.

When it comes to the topics of children, marriages and the question “How do we actually want to live?” common beliefs, values ​​and goals must be found - otherwise a relationship can only work with difficulty in the long term. Having different views and interests is exciting and can be very enriching for a relationship. If, however, there is no common basis in the long term, the charm of the opposites evaporates relatively quickly and conflicts arise and dissatisfaction increases.

9. Live and let live

Putting pressure on your partner and making them feel like they are not good enough is a huge mistake and can destroy even the greatest love. Anyone who only criticizes the other and demands of them to change must reckon with headwinds.

It is nicer to accept the other person for who he is and not constantly give him the feeling that he has to do more. That feels better for you too. Treating each other with love and respect strengthens the relationship and the other feels strengthened and valued - just as he is. This leads to more satisfaction and has a positive effect on the partnership.

10. Share the same sense of humor in a partnership

Whenever possible, couples should laugh together. The more time they spend together and the more interests and activities they share, the more likely they are to have laughing fits together. If both have the same sense of humor, watching a funny movie can also be entertaining. Laughing together releases happiness hormones that increase well-being and strengthen the couple relationship. If the humor of both partners is very different, funny films should be avoided. This could lead to arguments and incomprehension for the other.

11. Like and accept yourself

Only those who are at peace with themselves can love another person wholeheartedly - that's what they say. Those who have personal problems, are dissatisfied with their life or suffer from self-doubt, often pass these on to their partner. Especially after a breakup, it is important to work on yourself before starting a new relationship head over heels.

12. Take and allow space in spite of the relationship

Even if it is nice to do many activities together in a relationship and to live life as a team - sometimes it has to be time with friends without the other. In short: you need space! Maintaining your own activities, hobbies and friendships is important in order to feel balanced. In such situations you also notice that you miss the other person and have something to tell each other when they meet again.

The same freedom that you take for yourself should also be given to your partner. Just because someone feels the need to spend one evening a week alone or likes to go on vacation with friends once a year does not speak against the relationship. Both partners are still two independent people, with a life of their own, their own ideas and goals, and personal interests. To suppress these or to act as a partner against the needs and ideas of the other makes you unhappy and creates crises and conflicts. For this reason, every partner in a relationship should have the chance to take the freedom he needs to live out his own wishes, goals and needs.

13. Show willingness to compromise

Compromises are an integral part of a partnership. Different preferences, views, or hobbies are normal and should be accepted. But compromises are also part of a happy relationship.

Those who are able to compromise and are willing to put their own needs aside from time to time can benefit from new experiences in return. Seeing the glow in the other's eyes can be at least as beautiful as fulfilling your own wish. It is important that both partners do not bend in their character or their deepest desires, values ​​and goals when they compromise.

14. Surprise the partner

Surprises and the unexpected keep a relationship exciting. Surprising the other person from time to time with little attentions and activities or waiting for them at home in a hot outfit keeps love fresh. Extreme activities planned together also offer plenty of room for surprises such as:

  • Adventure travel
  • Climbing tours
  • Mountain hikes.

Noticing that the other is making an effort and has thought of something nice for the time together keeps love fresh even after years.

15. Being able to forgive

In every happy relationship there can be conflicts, mistakes and arguments. Dealing with this is important - but it is just as important to forgive your partner after an argument. Because going through crises together and forgiving the other person even thoughtless remarks during an argument or imprudent actions as well as mistakes allows a couple to grow together. The most important requirement is that both want the relationship and are ready to work on themselves.

Communication, closeness and security are important foundations for a happy relationship. Author: Drobot Dean | Adobe Stock © Drobot Dean | Adobe Stock

What makes a relationship happier? That's what research says

As part of the representative Elite Partner Study 2019, 2,880 people in a partnership were surveyed to find out which factors contribute to happiness in a relationship. The study came to astonishing results. The four most important factors that the researchers have found out are presented below:

  1. Factor: togetherness in everyday life and support in times of crisis. 88 percent of those questioned who are in a happy relationship stated that you and your partner can keep your everyday life very well organized and that you can rely on your partner's support even in difficult times.
  2. Factor: fun! 84 percent of the happily married people in the survey stated that they laugh a lot with their partner and also often raise humor.
  3. Factor: Quick reconciliations in the event of an argument. Exactly 80 percent of the study participants who are satisfied with their relationship say that they make up quickly if they have arguments.
  4. Factor: freedom! 75 percent of those questioned who are satisfied with their relationship state that they also give their partner time for their own interests and activities with friends.

Taken together, the study shows that it is not only common activities, sex and in-depth conversations that have a positive influence on the happiness of a relationship. Above all, it is factors such as open communication, healthy freedom, solidarity in good and difficult times and humor that make for a happy and satisfied relationship.

5 tips: How to build a stable relationship and keep it long-term

At the beginning of a relationship, everything seems so easy and simple. The deep infatuation usually lasts for months, if not years - a time when everything seems so rosy. Problems and Conflicts Are Miles Away But at some point every relationship will face obstacles that challenge a partnership from the ground up.

For this reason, it is important to build a stable and good relationship right from the start that will survive times of crisis. Here are five tips to help you build a happy, long-term relationship:

Tip 1: optimize your communication in the relationship

As you already know, communication is an important foundation of a happy relationship. In order to maintain your partnership over the long term, you should always communicate openly, honestly and calmly with your partner. Even with conflicts that arise in every relationship, you should seek a conversation as soon as possible and resolve the conflict calmly.

Tip 2: Keep the balance between togetherness and space

For many couples, finding the right balance in a relationship is a challenge at first. Especially when you are in love it is difficult to be without your partner. But after a while you find out together how much freedom the respective partner needs. Because although the time together with the partner is very important, it should not be forgotten how important it is for a partnership to also pursue one's own interests, needs and goals.

Tip 3: Offer your partner support and security

There is clearly some truth in the saying “In good times and bad”. Because a long-term partnership is characterized by the fact that the couple stick together and are there for each other even in times of crisis. In order to keep your partner in the long term, it is therefore important to convey to him that you offer him support at all times and that he is not alone. It is often enough to talk to your partner, listen actively and take your partner's problems seriously.

Tip 4: Keep close to your partner

Even if sex is not crucial to your happiness in a relationship, intimacy and closeness are important points that contribute to a happy and stable relationship. It doesn't always have to be sex. Physical closeness such as tender touch are also important in order to show affection for the partner.

Tip 5: build trust

Trust is arguably the cornerstone of any relationship. To have a long-term, stable relationship, you and your partner must trust each other unconditionally and know that you will always be honest and sincere with one another. If there is a lack of trust in a relationship, doubts will arise in the short or long term, which can doom a relationship to failure.

Bottom line: these are the basics of a happy relationship

So what is the secret of a happy relationship? For all advice and tips on the most important things and factors in a relationship, it is not just the intensity of love that defines a relationship. If couples know or have the feeling that they have found their soul mate in the other, this is an important basis. Often, many good relationship characteristics such as open communication, common interests, tolerance and acceptance arise on their own. But this is not always the case. Here couples have to grow together and work on their relationship.

A relationship is more than just humor, honesty and loyalty, although these are of course important elements. Sex isn't critical either if the rest of the relationship isn't right. Instead, it is points such as respect, trust, compromise, appreciation and communication that, as a whole, lead to a happy relationship that lasts forever. Couples can actively do something in many areas - provided they are ready to do so.

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FAQ: Answers to the most common questions about a happy relationship

When is it a good relationship?

In principle, relationships cannot be compared with one another. Because every relationship is different and a unique construct made up of two individual people. The standards for a good relationship are always set by the couple themselves. For this reason, we can only speak of a good relationship provided that both partners are satisfied with their relationship.

What is the key to a happy relationship?

There is no one-size-fits-all key to a happy partnership. Every relationship is individual and shaped by the needs of the individual partners. In order to increase your own happiness in relationships, it is important to communicate openly with your partner and to talk about personal wishes and fears. Open communication lays the foundation for trusting and loving interaction with one another, which means that conflicts can also be resolved more quickly.

Why can't I have a happy relationship?

A happy relationship is based on many different building blocks. This includes open communication, deep trust, a common sense of humor and physical tenderness. But the willingness to work together on the partnership and to respond to the needs and wishes of the partner is also important in order to have a happy relationship. Those who are not willing to compromise for their partner or give them their freedom will ultimately not be able to build a long-term relationship. For this reason, it is all the more important to communicate openly with your partner, address problems and work out joint solutions in order to keep the relationship alive.

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Our editorial team consists of numerous experts from the fields of conventional medicine and herbal and general medicine. The team will inform you about the background to diseases and medicinal plants, as well as topics such as partnership and love.