Are singles really single

GENERATION SINGLE between ego and loneliness

Almost every fourth Swiss citizen is single. Are our Alpine people incapable of bonding? Or does great love just not exist? We got to the bottom of the fate of Swiss singles. And have not found such lonely prospects at all.

There are more and more apartments for one person, the supermarkets are full of packs of singles, vacations for singles are booming in travel agencies, not to mention online dating sites and dating agencies. In Switzerland you seem to be pretty much alone. In fact, studies have shown that almost every fourth Swiss citizen is single. What's wrong with the singles in Switzerland? Do we really want to be alone? Or are there simply no more dream men? If you want to know, read on.

False expectations: the dream of a dream man!

Why don't the Swiss singles find their great love? Because you're not looking right? Because they are unable to relate or maybe because they don't exist at all? The qualified pedagogue Sonja Deml gave Singles the following food for thought on this question: “Weddings in connection with love and romance have only existed since the beginning of the 19th century. Until then, when choosing a partner, it was not love that played a role, but rather rational considerations. The baker looked for a woman who would fit in well with the business, the upper class married their children to each other. Nowadays, rationality no longer counts very much. Now it is love itself that is the basis for a partnership - but love alone can pass away. " So the fact is: the wedding for love is infinitely romantic, but also vague. Rational relationships are more tangible than dream men. But nobody wants to have the sparrow in hand today. One is rather singlethan to enter into a relationship based on reason.

Emancipation as a single trap?

The steadily increasing number of singles in Switzerland can also be explained by the following thought: Being single is no longer a weakness. On the contrary: Singles are considered independent, strong and self-confident. And singles are also often said to have determination in their careers. So singles have a good image. In the 90s, the single life was even practically propagated, although it has never established itself as a desired model in society. Women in particular have emancipated themselves and seemingly brought new values, namely careers instead of children, to the fore. But Deml explains that this medal also has a downside. She never believed the pessimistic prophecies that values ​​like family no longer count. In your single study, she even came to a completely different result. Starting your own family is still the most important goal in life, even for singles.

The anything goes ideology

The problem is probably that children and a career are more difficult to combine for women, but also increasingly for men. Women are better educated than ever. But in fact, she often throws the first child back into the role models of her parents: housewife and mother and breadwinner. But who would want to sacrifice their professional success and the recognition that goes with it so easily when they have worked so hard for it? Today women want everything: a challenging job, unique love and a warm nest because they grew up believing that everything is possible. But here there is still a wide gap between desire and reality.

No compromise! The ego society

Single is no longer just the word for someone without a partner, it has also become a lifestyle. The value of freedom has come to the fore and is lived inviolably for its own sake. Against this background, the reluctance of the Swiss to commit themselves can also be explained: Singles (mis) understand ties as a loss of freedom. In fact, a relationship means responsibility and thus a certain restriction of one's own independence. But where does the demonization of this state come from? In fact, a relationship doesn't mean imprisonment. You have to learn to adjust to your partner and in some cases to be considerate and sometimes to set aside your freedom in favor of a mutual compromise, but is that not your freedom? After all, you get something back: namely a reliable partner by your side. One who also restricts his freedom out of love. And isn't that what many singles want?

Love is work!

Finding great love is the goal of many Swiss singles, a relationship from a picture book or, even better, from advertising, the desire. In the media, harmonious relationships are suggested as ideal and single dreams are awakened. Couples are therefore more easily discouraged by conflicts and give up relationships more quickly. Differences of opinion in a partnership are perfectly normal. Even more: Conflicts are an important part of a partnership. You can only find closer relationships through constructive discussions with your partner. Instead of becoming conflict-averse or even giving up, singles newly in love should persevere. Conflicts can also be an opportunity. Be courageous: Anyone who has faced the single life also masters a relationship with the left. Good luck looking further. And especially when finding the great, rosy love. Which - don't forget - do not exist entirely without thorns!

Swiss singles in numbers and facts

  • 58% of the Swiss see the internet as a suitable place to get to know a partner
  • 18 percent of 20 to 39 year olds have met a partner at least once through the Internet
  • Almost every fourth Swiss citizen is single. Of these, over a quarter of women (around 27 percent) have no steady partner. On the other hand, there are fewer male singles - around 19 percent.
  • More than 50 percent of singles have been without a partner for more than three years.
  • Around 30% of Swiss singles consider themselves too self-critical and too demanding when looking for a partner.

Source: Parship.ch

Image: Fuse

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