What should people change in their lives?
Change your life: In 5 easy steps (+ motivational tips from a professional)
Does your life puke you sometimes?
Would you like to change everything:
Another job, more sport, less stress, happier relationships, more free time, more positive thinking ...?
But despite all the dissatisfaction, you just can't manage to change something?
Then, my friend, you are ready for this article!
I'll show you how you can give your life a new direction. And I'll also tell you which hurdles stand in the way of your change and how you can skilfully avoid them.
But be careful !!
This article can change your life. So only read it if you REALLY want to get happier and more satisfied ...
Table of Contents
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The Weed Effect: Why You Should Change Your Life NOW
A little stress at work ... every now and then arguments in the relationship ... and a few pounds too much on the hips ...
Does that mean you have to quit, split up and change your entire diet?
No of course not!
But dissatisfaction is a sure sign that you should change ANYTHING in your life.
Because dissatisfaction is like weeds.
No matter where it comes from - it gradually spreads in all areas of life:
The picture shows it very clearly:
At first, it might just be your job that makes you unhappy. But if you come home annoyed and exhausted every evening, your relationship, your free time, your health and so on will suffer as well ...
At some point you will be fed up with EVERYTHING, would like to give up everything, emigrate and start all over again.
So that it doesn't get that far in the first place, you should change THE areas of your life in good time that are somehow not going that well anymore.
Sounds logical right?
Unfortunately, many people wait far too long to make the change or never make it. I will explain why this is so in the next section:
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Why is change so difficult for us?
Many people are dissatisfied with their life, but few really change anything ...
Why is that?
Change is difficult. This is mainly due to 2 reasons:
The two main opponents of change are:
- your habits - To continue everything as before is easy and does not require any effort
- your fears - To change something means to leave the safe comfort zone and that is what most people are afraid of
Dissatisfaction alone is often not enough to break your habits or overcome your fears ...
Only when the dissatisfaction becomes so unbearable that one experiences real "pain" (physical or psychological) are most people ready for real changes.
Here you can see the whole thing again graphically:
Let me explain it again briefly:
- Dissatisfaction alone doesn't get you into action. On the contrary: you are probably moaning, unhappy and instead of changing something, you lapse into listlessness
- Only when the pain (the pressure of suffering) is great enough do you become active and begin to change your life
So you can now wait until your pain has become so great that it automatically motivates you to change, or you can use the following instructions and change your life NOW:
Changing your life: the practical guide in 5 steps
The following guide will help you change your life.
You can apply them to EVERYTHING, because whether you want to change your job, your relationship, your health or your personality - the process is always the same:
1. No more glossing over: From self-knowledge to decision-making
Before you can start making the change, of course you first have to admit to yourself in which areas of life you are dissatisfied.
And be honest with yourself there. Think of the "weeds of discontent" - the sooner you pull them up, the better.
So stop trying to gloss over your job, your relationship or whatever, according to the motto "Oh well, it's actually going quite well ..."
Also, stop blaming others for being unhappy!
If you wait for other people, society, or circumstances to change, then you are making yourself a victim. Then you can wait forever and in time your life will continue to go down the drain.
- Admit to yourself in which areas of life you are dissatisfied
- Take responsibility for making a difference yourself
- Make the decision not to wait any longer and to tackle the change NOW
If you are not sure which area of life to take care of first, my online life wheel will help you. It shows you very clearly where there is the greatest need for change in your life: the online wheel of life
2. Where are you actually going now?
Have you made up your mind that you want to change something?
Then it's now time to set your goal.
Because knowing what makes you unhappy and what you DO NOT want anymore is just the beginning.
In order to know which change steps you have to take next, you logically have to know your goal:
- Use your dissatisfaction as a starting point: What is that that you no longer want?
- Think about what you want in your life INSTEAD.
If you get stuck at this point, my article may help you: Self-discovery: 18 tips to find out what you really want
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3. Mental motivation using the worst-case method
Now comes what is probably the most important point that most people leave out and therefore fail:
Realize WHY you want to change your life!
Remember what I wrote earlier: Most people only change when the pain, suffering or pressure is so great that they simply cannot take it any longer.
Surely you also know stories of people who have only stepped down professionally or changed their lifestyle after a heart attack or another serious illness.
Don't let it get that far!
With the following exercise you "simulate" this worst case BEFORE the poop starts to steam and you get the motivation you need to change something immediately:
- Take a moment to close your eyes and think about your current topic that you want to change
- Now imagine how your life will go on if NOTHING changes. Then what will your life be like in 5 or 10 years?
- Feel the pain, pressure, or distress that you feel at this idea
- Now imagine your life as it will be if you change something NOW - so think about your positive goal
- Picture your changed life as intensely as possible and feel how great it feels
It's best to do this little mental exercise every day. It only takes a few minutes, but it has an extremely positive effect on your change process.
4. The big secret of the small steps
So. If you have done the previous points, you should now know what you want to change, what you want to achieve and why it is so important that you get into action now.
Now comes the hardest part:
You need patience!
I myself made the mistake in the past that I would have liked to change everything at the same time and achieve maximum success in the shortest possible time ...
Frustration! And without end.
Goals that are too high can break you! They cost you a lot of energy, and if you don't achieve them, you struggle with self-doubt and feelings of inferiority.
There is only one method how you can achieve change permanently and without being overwhelmed:
You have to change step by step!
Start with just ONE area of your life and don't try to change them all at the same time.
And then take a small step towards your goal every day:
- Divide your big goal into the smallest possible daily goals or think about which small step you could take TODAY for your change, which tomorrow and so on
- First, make a plan for 30 days and then go through with it
- After the 30 days, check for yourself whether you want to take your steps bigger or add a second goal
At first, this will seem awfully slow to you. You will have the feeling that NOTHING changes like this ...
But make one thing clear to yourself:
If you change only 1% every day, you will have changed your life 365% in one year!
5. The retrospective trick: why you should compare yourself (and with whom)
The advantage of the step-by-step method is that you don't overtax yourself, stick with it all the time and have fewer setbacks. In the long term, you are more successful in this way than with big quick-action campaigns.
The downside is that you feel like you are not making any progress.
That is why it is important that you compare yourself with yourself from time to time and celebrate your interim successes:
After 30 days, you look at your notes. Maybe you still can't do it with the time. But the HELLO in the supermarket is definitely no longer a problem for you.
So be proud of yourself and the change you have achieved!
Summary: Do's and don'ts in changing life
I hope that you are now motivated and ready to change your life.
Here again summarized the 5 steps with which you will succeed in every change:
- Be aware of what is making you unsatisfied in your life and decide to change it
- Think about the goal you want to achieve
- Imagine your life when you change NOTHING - feel the pain - and then imagine your life when you have reached your goal
- Change yourself and your life step by step
- Look back regularly and see how much you've already changed
And to be on the safe side, here are the mistakes that you should absolutely avoid:
- Don't change everything at once. Quitting your job, ending your relationship, moving and switching from fast food to raw food at the same time is just too much. (In addition, changes in ONE area of life automatically affect your other areas of life as well.)
- Have realistic expectations of yourself. While I am a fan of big goals, the higher you set the bar, the greater the disappointment if you fail. Just figure out what you could easily change and then do a little more.
Extra motivation tips for permanent changes
Do you need a little extra motivation to REALLY change your life?
Okay, here I have 2 tips for you that will help you not to fall back into your old habits tomorrow:
- Make it public: Tell others about your change plans! The more friends, relatives or colleagues you let in on, the more “pressure” you have from outside. This will help you really pull it off
- Find allies: Everything is much easier in a team. You can support one another, motivate one another and sometimes give one another courage when things are not going so well. So look for people who are also up for change - thanks to the Internet, it's very easy these days
You can find more motivational strategies in my article: Self-motivation: 6 power tips for maximum motivation in everyday life
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Comfort vs. panic zone: how to outsmart the fear of change
First of all, it's perfectly normal for you to be afraid of change.
It's simply because your brain is anxious to keep you safe. Safety in this case means "Do everything the same as always, then you know that nothing bad will happen."
The pursuit of security therefore keeps you trapped in the so-called comfort zone ...
What does that mean?
This can best be explained with this picture:
What do you see here
- The green area is your "comfort zone": What you do every day, what you know and where you know how your life is going. Not particularly exciting, but familiar and safe.
- The yellow area is the "courage zone": This is where the change begins. You're doing something new, something unfamiliar. It feels exciting and you feel a bit scared because you don't know exactly what to expect.
- The red area is the "panic zone": Here you have moved SO FAR from your usual life that your knees are shaking with fear. You feel completely overwhelmed and stressed.
Your brain tries to keep you in the green because it's safe there. Unfortunately you are unhappy there in the long run because you experience the same rut there every day ...
YOU prefer to go to the yellow area, because only THERE can you change your life. In this area, happiness, fulfillment and self-realization are waiting for you.
The trick now is that you yourself Step by step venture into the yellow zone - only so far that your fear doesn't paralyze you.
You will achieve exactly THAT if you stick to point 4 of my instructions!
Why should I change at all?
Nobody says you have to change!
If you don't feel like it, if your life is perfect all around or if you prefer your dissatisfaction to the risk of change - here you go. Then leave everything as it is.
But make one thing clear to yourself:
Life means change. Your life is ALWAYS changing whether you want it or not.
Here are just a few examples:
- Partners, friends, family, etc. come and go
- Your professional environment is constantly changing
- You get older, your body and your health change
- You keep making new experiences and are therefore constantly learning new things
So you see that you cannot NOT change at all ...
The problem, however, is this:
If YOU don't change your life, then your life will change YOU.
What do i mean by that?
If you are not actively directing your life in the desired direction, then you will be pushed back and forth by external events or the decisions of OTHER people.
Do you want it?
Decide what you prefer!
The special case: when radical changes are necessary
There are situations in life where you cannot make the change step by step ...
A termination For example, you have to go through with it in the end, even if you may have first tried your hand at part-time.
And one too Separation from partner has to be pronounced at some point. It doesn't help anyone if you drag on this decision forever while you've already emotionally left the relationship.
So as soon as you realize that your gradual change is just a delaying tactic to avoid making a decision, it's time for a radical change!
To make this easier for you, the first thing to do is to do the exercise from step number 3. Make yourself aware as intensely as possible how shitty your life will be if you don't finally change something!
What also helps:
First change something else in your life! Something you are less afraid of:
- have your hair cut off
- buy yourself a completely new outfit
- try a new sport ...
This first “trains” your brain for the change and gives you the self-confidence you need to tackle other issues in your life.
I often experience that people change their job or their living situation, for example, and then suddenly completely change their relationship, their diet or their circle of friends.
Frequently asked questions about "change"
Finally, I want to quickly answer 2 questions that I get asked over and over again:
1. I'm a little older - is it still worth changing my life?
To make a long story short:
It doesn't matter whether you are over 50, over 60 or over 80 ...
It's never too late for a positive change in your life!
For exactly 2 reasons:
- You don't know how many years you have left to go. It could be another 20, 30 or 40 years! Do you just want to sit down, moan and wait for the end?
- Even if you only have a little time ahead of you, it would be much nicer to spend this little time happy and content, wouldn't it?
Remember what this is about:
Changing your life means changing the areas of your life that you are unhappy with! And why shouldn't that be possible at any age?
And don't let yourself be persuaded that at 50 it would be more difficult to find a new job or that at 70 you can't find a new partner ...
My readers prove me wrong! Again and again I get enthusiastic letters from people who, even over the age of 50, still had the courage to take their lives into their own hands and with great success!
2. I want to change my life, but I don't know in which direction
For years I was in this state myself:
I was totally dissatisfied with my life and knew that I had to change something. But I didn't know how and what!
So it happened that I tried 6 courses of study and then dropped them again. The same thing happened with my "great idea" to go on a trip around the world ...
At some point I realized that I could waste even more life now trying out the millions of possibilities that life offers us today. OR sit down and think about what I actually WANT!
First I looked at what interests and needs I actually have and what REALLY makes me happy.
I have summarized my experiences from this process for you in this article: Self-discovery: 18 tips to find out what you really want
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