Why is polyamory on the rise

Polyamory: My love is enough for many

Lisa Stetter-Müller and Christopher Gottwald look like two teenagers with fresh crushes when I meet them for an interview at Café Einstein in Berlin-Kreuzberg. During the conversation they turtle each other, throw amorous looks, every now and then they interrupt the conversation for a short smooching. Again and again I have to remind myself that the two don't just love each other. Both have other relationships, equally passionate. They make no secret of this, they know about their partner's love affairs - that doesn't seem to be a problem for them.

  1. Around 10,000 people in Germany live polyamorously - they have amicable love relationships with several people.

  2. This counter-model to monogamy found famous followers such as Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre as early as the 20th century.

  3. Polyamores attest great intimacy to their relationships and actually seem to see them as different pairs of boots. Yet they are not immune to jealousy.

The two live "polyamorous". While the term is quite common in the USA, hardly anyone here in this country knows it. The made-up word is made up of the Greek word "polýs" (many) and the Latin "amor" (love). And this is how the term is also understood: "Polyamory is the idea of ​​loving several people at the same time," explains Gottwald. "However, this can be lived in very different ways in individual cases. I got to know the most varied of forms." He should know: The 44-year-old gave up his previous work as a theater director, and since then he has turned his way of life into a profession and has networked with polyamores all over Germany. He offers advice for beginners, organizes meetings and gives workshops.

This article is included in Brain & Mind 2/2015

In fact, the range of non-monogamous forms of love is wide and confusing. The most common variety is probably the open relationship, in which two people live together as a steady couple, but allow each other to cheat. Some also have several equal partnerships in parallel. In the most confusing case, complex structures are formed from triangular, square or even octagonal relationships ...