What career requires manipulating other people

Domination: 5 tips for domineering people

Domination poisons every relationship. A domineering person constantly imposes his will on others, regardless of loss. This not only makes it difficult to deal appropriately in private, it also makes constructive cooperation virtually impossible. We explain the causes of domineering and give five tips on how you can get along with domineering people ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

What is domination?

Although many have certainly already had the experience of domination or a domineering person, you will search in vain for this term on Wikipedia. This is due to the fact that domination is more likely to be classified under control addiction and narcissism in psychology. Instead of lust for power, synonymous terms such as dictatorship, brutality or ruthlessness are widespread. What is meant is an extremely dominant, rigid demeanor towards others. Domination means that someone wants to exercise power over others. And like any addiction, the need to dominate others is never satisfied.

On the one hand, this fits very well with people with narcissistic personality disorder: They are constantly revolving around themselves. They are so convinced of their own person and importance that they believe they are superior to others. In their opinion, this justifies being able to exercise power without corresponding achievements or qualifications. Dictators also behave in this way. If various other symptoms are taken into account at the same time, then domination is particularly common in psychopaths:

Symptoms of domination

Characteristics of domineering people are:

Aggressive demeanor
Moderate behavior is alien to them. They solve problems with verbal or physical violence.

Dogmatic attitude
Only one's own opinion counts, others cannot change a domineering person's mind.

Absolute control
Domination means that the domineering person compulsively controls and suppresses other people. He punishes deviations or resistance.

Little empathy
Dominant people have no access to their own feelings. You have no empathy towards others and do not notice their needs.

5 tips for domineering people

How you best behave depends on the one hand on how strong the lust for power is pronounced and on the other hand on the relationship between them. Domination is seldom associated with women, more often with men, which is mainly due to the fact that men often hold management positions. In a partnership, however, it can also be the female part who puts the other under massive pressure and tries to control them. The following tips will help you:

Recognize the manipulation

Domination should not be confused with leadership or assumption of responsibility. If someone argues like this, it is important to look carefully. Because domination is often reflected in manipulation and generalizations. For example, a domineering person tries to give the other person the impression that, apart from the person concerned, ALL people share his view. Once you have signal words like never, always, none, all and hear similar, you should be on your guard.

Watch yourself

What does the behavior of the other person do to you? Do accusations and manipulation attempts bounce off you? Some people manage to see through the behavior of the other and can easily differentiate themselves from it. How well one can deal with hurts is ultimately also a question of self-esteem. Some adopt certain expressions as their own. Is your partner or colleague's lust for domination already leading to low self-esteem? In such a case, it is time to take action.

Restrain the domineering person within his limits

As I said, it depends on the relationship you are in to one another: If your superior is domineering, there is a relationship of dependency. But that does not mean that he is allowed to do everything: Look for solidarity with colleagues and the works council, document incidents. If your boss has just had another fit of rage, it makes more sense to let him go, otherwise the situation will escalate. In a later conversation, calmly explain the consequences of such behavior (no time / rest for tasks with constant new ones). Emphasize that you want a factual, constructive discussion. You never have to put up with insults such as “You are a dead man” or “You are totally incapable”, as they constitute a criminal offense.

Reduce the contact

Dealing with domineering people often requires a lot of energy. Therefore, the contact should be limited to the bare minimum. That is not always possible. For example, if you are working with such a teammate, you will find it difficult to evade. Here it is important to come up with various strategies. Even if the other person may have more work experience or has been with the company for a longer period: Don't put up with everything, put them in their place. Your personal demeanor is decisive: the more you rest in yourself and know about your abilities, the more self-confident you can appear. The best way to reflect this is by maintaining an upright posture. You can also come up with a few quick-witted answers to nasty remarks or simply react ironically.

End the relationship

If the tips above don't work, consider changing jobs. Anyone who witnesses domination here and there - for example with a colleague from the other department - can probably deal with it. However, if the problem lies in the person of the boss and nothing changes despite various conversations, a job change is ultimately a question of self-worth. The same goes for a toxic relationship with a partner: seriously ask yourself if there is any chance of improvement.

What are the causes of lust for power?

In most cases, lust for power can be traced back to a lack of impulse control. Combined with the exaggerated need for recognition, it makes such people like to scream choleric. You are allowed to do that - after all, you are right (this is how you perceive yourself). And because they are entitled to a higher position based on their knowledge, they are authorized to behave like this.

If there is a real hierarchical difference, such as the boss versus the employees, domineering addicts take advantage of this, especially since they are fueled by the defensive behavior of their subordinates. This is why the lust for power - at least in democracies - can only work if the other side participates. If there is no one who bows to the domineering, his ruler's basis breaks away. Then all that remains is a choleric egomaniac. So fear or submission are bad advisors when dealing with domineering people.

Effects of domination

In a relationship that is dominated by domination, it is difficult to develop freely. Confrontation with such people in the workplace also unnecessarily tarnishes the relationship. There are always people who tend to have the urge to lead, while others like to submit. As long as it is a manager who takes responsibility, orders are covered to a certain extent by the employment contract and the right of direction.

But if the behavior goes far beyond the right to direct, people with low self-confidence will question themselves even more and be insecure. Both the working atmosphere and the results suffer as a result. But even when someone knows his own worth, lust for power is destructive. In the long run, someone like that will look for a different environment - another partner, another job. This means that values ​​such as a sense of togetherness and loyalty, but also expertise, are lost. Both a high fluctuation rate and a bad working atmosphere have an impact on the company's success. Companies would therefore do well to subject their managers to 360-degree feedback from time to time in order to uncover such behavior.

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