How are thoughts processed

7 techniques to process emotions

Last update: April 02, 2018

Learning techniques for processing your emotions means calmly and creatively regulating daily stress. Although our emotions are a part of our lives, we shouldn't forget that we need to know how to deal with them. In fact, this is the key to a better life full of opportunity and greater wellbeing.

Learning to think differently and to change our attitude towards certain people, objects and situations is not easy, we know that. The numbers speak for themselves: neuropsychologists say we do have an average of 6000 thoughts per day. 95% of them are the same as the day before. The number of thoughts we repeat from the previous week is only slightly smaller.

"It's not the stress that drops us, it's the way we respond to it."

Wayde Goodall

We are all born crying. Crying will be our only form of expression until someone says it is enough. Somebody will tell us that "Don't cry for big kids" be. We let the years go by, curb our anger because we've been told not to express it that way. Because heroes do not get angry or fearful. So there are few role models for small and not so small children. In whom do you see a good example of processing emotions?

No child knows from birth what emotions are and how to control them - and only a few adults do that. Because we have never been told how to deal with our emotions, we have only been told what to avoid.

James Gross is the head of the psychophysiological laboratory at Stanford University (California, USA). He says you need to know how to use effective emotion processing techniques. This is essential for the prevention of diseases such as depression or borderline personality disorder. Managing our clutter of thoughts and negative emotions means health and wellbeing.

Techniques with which we can process emotions

There are many techniques we can use to process our emotions. But before we begin to explore them and risk being overwhelmed by the many approaches, dynamics and suggestions, we need to be clear about one thing: the processing of emotions is individualized. To do this, we have to unpack our personal tool kit. Not every tool that other people use successfully will work for us, and vice versa.

For example, it is common for many people to start mindfulness. They hope that she alone will solve the puzzles of life. But not everyone is successful in meditating. Not everyone finds physical and mental rest in it. It is more advisable to set a multidimensional focus. One in which the cognitive and physiological as well as the behavioral and emotional all converge towards a goal. This goal is well-being, calm and a heightened awareness.

Now let's take a look at seven techniques we can use to process our emotions. It is the ones that have proven to be the most efficient. We recommend that you try several and stick with the one that works best for you.

1. Situations to avoid and situations to face

Obviously, we cannot control everything that happens to us in daily life. But there are situations that are entirely under our control. We can avoid them to increase our well-being.

  • For example, leaving home late could mean I have to rush. That would make me appear in a bad mood at work. So i should try to get up earlier so that you don't have to rush.
  • The Sunday family dinner can frighten me and put me under tension. In this case, it is best to propose alternatives. That way I can avoid the situation for the sake of my health, without hurting anyone else.
  • There are many more things and situations that I can avoid if they frighten me. For example, I could avoid public speaking in my job or on air travel. But all of this would only make the fear in me continue to grow. Sometimes we have to face our fears in order to overcome them.

2. Turn your attention to something else

"My colleague concludes more contracts than I do", "My neighbor managed to lose weight before I did", "This train is going too fast, we will definitely have an accident", and "There is only bad news in the newspapers, soon something bad will happen near me" are thoughts that stress us out. They feed our fears, weaken our self-esteem and make us lose control of our lives. We need to learn how to shift our gaze from our immediate surroundings and their complexity to something else.

Once we've spent some time with ourselves, taken care of and listened to each other, everything will balance out again. This is one of the best techniques for processing emotions.

3. Improve your self-control by looking to the near future

We know that the concept of focusing your attention on the here and now, on the present, is very popular. Now we're going to suggest something else: Think about your near future. Think about tomorrow or the coming week because sometimes the present is completely engulfed by fear, stress and frustration. Therefore, think about what you expect from this near future: "I want to feel good, I want to achieve that goal ..."

Take advantage of the renewed confirmation. Think about your strengths and past successes so that you can put all your hopes in the near future. If you focus on relatively easy and fulfilling goals to accomplish in the near future, you will find more motivation in the present.

4. Mental note: Save your worries for a specific part of the day

Nietzsche once said:Thoughts don't come when we want them, but when they want them. "It's the same with worry. They are like ravens that perch on the high voltage lines of our fears. They are there to make them worse, to weaken our optimism and our potential. And they are there to keep us in the dark.

Don't let them do that. Every time a concern pops up in the "inbox" of your head, put it on the back burner. Leave her there and choose a time of the day when you are calm and relaxed to deal with her. Then at this time you can think about her and find solutions to your problems, rather than let her distract you all day.

5. Question and Answer: What's the worst that could happen?

It happens to all of us. Sometimes we get into things and hit our heads against the wall because we are unable to find a way out. There are thoughts of how "You will fire me", "My friend pays me no more attention", and "I will not be able to save enough to pay off this debt", that hold us in a labyrinth, the exit of which seems inaccessible to us.

Instead of feeding these thoughts, let's learn how to go a little further. Let us ask ourselves what could happen if the thing we fear happens. But let's do it the right way, adding a solution:

  • "If you fire me, I could finally decide to continue this project."
  • “If my friend doesn't pay any attention to me, I'll ask him what's going on. If our relationship no longer works, I will have to accept it, deal with the pain and look ahead. "
  • "If I can't pay my debts, I have to sell this or that, or ask my family for help."

6. Meditation is a way to relax the mind and body

Meditation is one of the most effective techniques for processing emotions. But in order to apply this strategy successfully, we need to practice it often. We won't see results right away in the first week, and maybe not even in the first month.

But if we do it regularly, it will definitely show results. To be able to see them, it is essential to be patient and consistent.

Meditation is effective in many situations. She can help you deal with intrusive thoughts, reduce stress, and improve your alertness. It can also help you alleviate your anxiety.

7. Find an escape route, a way for self-expression

There are people who find refuge and self-expression in writing. Maybe you draw or paint mandalas to process your emotions. Some jog, need rest or nature. Then there are those who are better off having coffee with friends, reading books, or listening to music. Some people feel better when they go for a walk with their dog or find a precious moment alone.

The best techniques for processing emotions are not always found in books. Sometimes we find it ourselves. Often we find the activity that will help us find peace with the world and ourselves when we least expect it. It is a free space in which we can get to know ourselves and identify the roots of our problems. It is a haven, a place of peace and contentment where our courage will find a home.

So let's find a way to express ourselves and feel better. Let's spend our time doing this and for the sake of our health, let's use some of the strategies mentioned here. Every effort we make will be worth it.

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