Why do people call me ugly

Björn H .: "I can smile in the face of my counterpart and say: 'I know that I look ugly.‛ "

Björn says he is a pecker of himself. Many people around him think that is true. But Björn not only gets along with his "ugly" appearance - he has also found a very reflective attitude towards beauty.

Björn H. has been working in the public sector for several years. There he is certainly not known as a handsome boy, but definitely for his open, funny manner. After more and more friends and acquaintances encouraged him to try out a non-professional actor in the theater, he found his way onto the stage and from there in front of the camera . Since then he has been involved in various film projects and moderated one or the other event. He no longer sees his "unattractive" appearance as something he has to live with, but as something that makes him special. That and his very own way of dealing with it. An interview with an ugly person who is beautiful.

Björn, you say of yourself that you are an ugly bird or look like an old hooded crow. How do the people around you react to this?

Differently. One reaction is: yes, that's right. And another reaction is: No, absolutely not at all. On the film set, for example, I'm often told that I have such a beautiful, unmistakable face. Then I say: Oh, stop spinning, I'm totally the pecker. It's different with friends, because you also tease each other. But since I say that on my own, the reactions are actually rather positive and open.

So do you feel like you are being given just as much honesty back in this moment?

Yeah, but sometimes I feel really pissed off when someone says, No, you have a beautiful face. I don't want to admit that some people think I'm beautiful too.

Have you always been so relaxed and aggressive in dealing with it?

Not at all. I didn't think I was pretty when I was young. I was a totally pale boy and didn't make anything of myself either, chasing the ideal of beauty. The clothes that were in at the time had to be worn without adding your own touch. The increasing self-confidence has developed, on the one hand through my job in the office, but of course also through theater, film and moderation. Then I thought: I can't be that ugly if people think I'm somehow cool.

Music video with Björn in the lead role

For example, there used to be moments at school when you were teased for your appearance.

Sure, I was always called Spitzfresse in the past.

Did that hurt you?

Yes, absolutely. It's never nice to be teased. Maybe it hardened me. I already had self-confidence back then, was the class clown and also knew that a lot of people like me. I think if I had been isolated I would have been hit harder. But I've teased other kids too. Children are mean and always look for the negative of the other in order to make themselves appear stronger, although they usually have deficits themselves. Humans develop and some notice that outward appearance or beauty are not everything and others stick to their superficial opinion. They set their priorities on superficiality, on appearance, on branded items and define themselves by this.

And if someone calls you ugly today, even with offensive intent, does it still hurt you?

No! My appearance is exactly what defines me. If I conformed to the standard of beauty, I would be one of many. And so I'm just a thin guy with a hooked nose who is recognized. My body and my appearance are my capital and if I use it correctly, I can convince and inspire people with it. I can smile in the face of my counterpart and say: I know that I look ugly. But I can live with that very well. I feel good and I know that how I look adds to my impact.

Are your acting ambitions the reason that you can handle it this way now?

I don't think I would have developed that confidence if I hadn't started acting. Now I know that I have something about myself that not everyone has. If someone from the acting industry or someone who knows a lot about people can say that to me, it is much more valuable to me than if someone says I'm ugly or when Muddi and Vaddi say: You are a pretty boy. You have to.

Did your parents say that to you too?

I can't consciously remember, but neither did they say that I was an ugly kid. When I was chasing the whole mainstream with hip-hop clothes and such, Muddi has sometimes said: Don't you want to wear something different? It doesn't look cool at all. And when I got dressed up, they would also say: Man, you're actually a really cute kid.


How much value do you attach to the appearance of other people, for example women or your girlfriend?

For me, beauty is a matter of aura. I can't explain it, but some people have a nice aura to me, although others would find their appearance ugly. Maybe because they are also self-confident and say: I may not be the prettiest, but I know how to use my assets and stand by my big nose. You can see that in women. I don't have a steady type of woman. What matters to me when it comes to the outside is a basic level of grooming.

Would you consider yourself vain?

With my hair, yes. They always have to lie. Otherwise, I try to dress smartly, but still casual, easy going. But to call myself vain would be going too far. Then I would probably put make-up on my dark circles too.

Would you have artificial changes made to yourself?

Yes, I would inject fat. No, just kidding ... not even that. It's about my overall package. Would I still look like this if I looked different if I had 20 kilos more on my ribs?

And for an offer of acting? If someone said: let this be done to you and then you get the role?

I don't think so, because then I would give myself away.

How do you define the terms beautiful and ugly?

Difficult. For me, only people are ugly who act ugly, who are envious, jealous, who denounce others who are unjust. Beauty is a complete package, that is the look, the inside, the aura, how do I behave. For me, a certain basic intelligence is part of beauty. Outward beauty is often just a facade that crumbles when you get to know the character behind it. Outward appearances are ephemeral. We don't all look the way we look forever, but our basic properties often stay the way they are. When it comes to women, of course, you would never go to an "ugly" one. It could have the greatest character, but visual stimuli just have to be there. These stimuli are then either confirmed or completely destroyed. People can become extremely ugly, but they can also make themselves extremely beautiful through their character.

Do you think you are beautiful

Yes!

Do you find yourself ugly

Yes!

I feel both in one because I can deal with both. For one, I'm ugly, for the other, I'm beautiful. I know that and also that there are people who appreciate the overall package.

The interview was conducted by Anne Weißbach.
Copyright: jádu | Goethe Institute Prague