How can you help a broken person
Overcoming lovesickness: 10 tips that will really help against heartache
The pains that lovesickness cause are soul pains - and of the worst kind. It is of little consolation that almost all of us are caught once and that everyone will overcome their lovesickness one fine day. In an acute state of shock, self-confidence sinks, the ex-partner is idealized, crazy longing, anger and loneliness spread.
Until time has healed all wounds - and promised: it will! - Broken hearts need an immediate contingency plan. To everyone who is currently suffering badly from heartache: Here are ten tips that will really help you to overcome lovesickness!
Video survey: THESE are your tips to overcome lovesicknessVideo from the editorial team
1. Howling, wailing, self-pity
When the pain of separation is fresh, neither sophisticated processing strategies nor heroic attempts to take the whole thing with composure like a lady help. In the first few days - or weeks if the shock is deep - it is completely okay to indulge in the grief and pain unrestrainedly.
Let your emotions out: howling, screaming, sobbing, consuming a ten pack of tissues, listening to sentimental music and continuing to cry. Self-pity and crying days in bed are expressly allowed! In this phase it is important to accept the pain, disappointment and anger. The old rule applies here: only those who have grieved extensively can process the separation properly and overcome the heartache.
Also read: The best songs for lovesickness and heartbreak
2. Talking helps with heartache!
In no case should you try to deal with the grief on your own for long periods of time. Talk about what you are feeling: about a feeling, the hurt, the sadness, the anger at the ex-partner. Call your best friend and let her ears wail.
You just have the official permission to bathe in self-pity and harass your surroundings with the same topic over and over again: your acute heartbreak. And, yes, even if the whole thing has been chewed through three times with the same conclusion.
Your friends will have a lot of good advice on how to fight heartache. Almost everyone knows how difficult it is to overcome the bad heartbreak. It can actually help to see things from a different perspective and hear how the friends got through the valley of tears.
But of course: Of course, in the end it all depends on how you feel. Only you can tell how you are doing and what your heartbreak feels like. How you deal with the situation is entirely up to you. So always follow your own rhythm!
Reading tip: Lovesickness Test: Are You Really Over Your Ex?
3. Recognize his quirks
It was never so clear to you as in phases of the worst lovesickness: Your ex or your ex was the most lovable and cleverest creature on God's earth. No one will ever be so wonderfully a match for you. Moooment! This person broke your heart! He's to blame for all the heartache! That alone does not predestine him to go down as the greatest love in your life story.
And let's be honest: How often have you been annoyed in the past about his stubbornness, his ignorance, his post-pubertal seizures, his cold remarks ... yes, just.
Be careful not to idealize your ex-partner. Be aware of the negative sides! Make a list of everything that has bothered you in your relationship. You will see: once you are more objective in your judgment, the heartache also becomes less and less.
4. Mucking out against the heartache
Make sure that the cause of your heartache disappears as much as possible from your field of attention! Even if it hurts at first: For the time being, part with everything that reminds you of him and the time you spent together.
Mementos such as photos or letters, his old T-shirt and the toothbrush go straight to a large box and from now on they will eke out their existence in the attic or in the basement. Those who constantly look at the old photos and listen to the songs they share together only prolong their lovesickness. Take care of your heart and avoid tormenting yourself.
Also read:Lovesickness Formula: That's how long heartbreak really lasts
5. Work out properly: Sport
A good method to stop the mental loop for a while, to let out the anger and disappointment and to really let off steam: Sport! Sport, no matter what, is ideal for clearing your head and producing some happiness hormones again.
Movement helps against depressive moods and the excruciating dull constant pain. Go dancing, yoga, swimming a few laps. If you feel like you really need to let off steam, you can also lift kickboxing or weights. The main thing is that you get other thoughts!
Distraction is the best remedy for lovesickness. Not in the acute phase, but over time you should definitely play this ace against your heartache.
6. Pamper yourself
If the first, bad heartache phase is over, the next important step comes. And that means: Everything that is good for you now belongs to the top of the list of priorities. Treat yourself to something nice, take a break, be lazy and decadent. You don't have to do anything right now. Your main focus should be that YOU are fine. Everything else can come later.
An appointment at the massage, a new hairstyle, a new outfit (everything that he always found stupid, you can get yourself now more than ever!), Wellness or a delicious meal - the mission is: Pamper yourself! Caresses for body and soul are exactly what will help you best to cope with lovesickness.
By the way: A new outfit like this can be balm for the ego - and you can now urgently need an extra helping of self-confidence. Feel beautiful and desirable! The little amoeba that broke your heart is actually just incredibly stupid not to have you by her side anymore, isn't it?
Also read:Those who are lovesick also suffer physically: These are 10 typical symptoms
7. No stalking!
Yes, it's seductive, we know that. But do not come up with the idea of spying on your ex-girlfriend after the breakup! And not for moral reasons, but mostly to do yourself a favor. Any attempted contact tears open old wounds and makes your heartbreak bigger rather than smaller.
So: It's best to delete all of his numbers from your phone (yes: really all of them!), Cancel the Facebook friendship, change the local pub. Everything that keeps you at a distance helps you to gradually detach yourself from this person and to set yourself free for a new phase of life.
8. New rituals
There are so many things that fall by the wayside during a relationship: meeting old friends, learning a new language, taking a regular Pilates class, wasting a whole Sunday in bed, the long and wonderfully unreasonable shopping marathon or just dating another man . You should make up for all of this now!
Now there is no longer an excuse - and that is incredibly good! Find new hobbies, introduce new rituals for which there was always no time in the past: Go brunch with your friends on Sunday, finally read all the books and watch all the films that you have put off for so long!
Whatever is good for you is right now. And who knows? Perhaps with one of your numerous hobbies you will get to know the one man or woman who will glue your broken heart back together and conquer it.
Also read: How to process a breakup to be free for a new love
9. Flirt instead of heartache
Actually, you don't feel like leaving the house and throwing yourself into the hustle and bustle at the moment. Do yourself a favor: do it anyway! If possible, accept every invitation that comes into your home.
Go out among people! First, it is good to be with people who make you feel like you are not alone in the world and can also enjoy life as a single. Second, it boosts your confidence to test your market value - and find that there are a lot of men and women out there who appreciate your qualities more than Mr. Herzschmerz.
Oh yes: To catch a 'transitional partner' who is not suitable for great love, but is a wonderful ego-flatterer, is of course not the best way. But as the saying goes: In war and in love ... well, you know.
10. Up and away: book a short trip
Each of us has these places we have always wanted to travel to. It doesn't have to be the Caribbean - how about a spontaneous city trip to Paris, Lisbon, Stockholm? As a single, you are free to do whatever you want. You can pack your seven things and just go ahead - without lazy compromises, without false consideration, according to your own rhythm.
Of course, you can also take your best friend with you if you are afraid of being alone in a foreign country with your lovesickness. This is of course a question of type, whether a trip alone helps you or makes you even more unhappy. But to escape from everyday life and the familiar surroundings is often extremely healing and helps to see things more distantly. You will be amazed how good a few days' distance and new impressions are for you.
take your time
And with all these wonderfully clever tips you will surely think to yourself: These are all nice pieces of advice, but they will never help against my lovesickness. Yes they will. You just have to give yourself the time that such a heartache lasts.
You won't be able to overcome and tick off your past relationship in a week. But if you take the time, it will slowly get better. Promised. And it's important to come to terms with your broken relationship.
We women often make the mistake of looking to ourselves to blame. Still, the time of intensive processing is important and ensures that we learn something from what happened. For the next relationship that hopefully won't break our hearts anymore and has the chance to be the best of our lives.
Also read: Lovesickness? 7 comforting thoughts to help after a breakup
Also read: Why lovesickness hurts so much and what you can do about it
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