Why is lesbian sex more satisfying

What is it like when women love each other?

What happens during lesbian sex? It seems to be one of the questions that preoccupies the (heterosexual *) world. Our author tries to explain the love between women with flowers and flowers.

This sex, for many a shame topic, but a perennial favorite. From unusual practices to total calm in bed - do we really want to know everything? Lesbian sex likes to get a lot of attention. On the other hand, the idea of ​​sex between two men seems rather offensive to many. A little small-minded if you ask me. Personally, as a lesbian loving person, I naturally find two women more exciting. First of all: In the last 17 years I have had a number of sex partners and no two women are the same. This applies to all people regardless of their sexuality.

Women love each other: in the beginning there was foreplay

For me, two women are incredibly sensual. No man in the world has soft skin - and that's a good thing. Although I am extremely seldom affectionate with men, I then enjoy their rough skin and scratchy beard. In most cases, men seem more certain to me in their touch than women. That may be a subjective point of view as I am probably looking for men like that. Among women, I also jump into self-confident - and sometimes dominant - personalities, but that's somehow not the same. In a new fashion, this breaking up of traditional gender roles is called “gender fluid”. This is why women can of course be wild, bite and have 'hard sex'. Head cinema. But more on that later. Head cinema off.

Pants on, hand in - done? No!

When I sometimes see women making love on TV, I am often disappointed. Of course there is also the fast lesbian number, but that's really not the non-plus-ultra. Oh yes, and porn with two fake model women playing with each other also distorts the picture. My experience is that there are a lot of lesbian women who are not that sexually active at all. Unfortunately. Of course, sex is not everything, but it is important - and to me, some lesbian couples seem more like good friends or old married couples who blend in visually and in their leisure time. Everyone is theirs, but it's not mine. Fortunately, among the ten percent of women who live as a lesbian there are also some who are more willing to experiment sexually, or at least more active. I find it interesting that it was more my sex partners who also had heterosexual experiences.

The four main options for sex between women

Of course, sexual practices are incredibly multifaceted. In my opinion, however, there are four basic directions:

1. The rubbing

When it comes to birds, one speaks of 'cloaca on cesspool' and I've heard that a number of times as a representative term for lesbian sex, mostly as an insult. It is true to the extent that it gives satisfaction to some women when they rub their clitorids together. For many, this option is already emerging in courtship behavior on the dance floor. This courtship dance is a horror for me. Two women who dance together as if they were glued to their lower abdomen - it doesn't have to be. In the bedroom, in my opinion, it's often a kind of extended petting. You fumble, but you don't really dare. First dressed and then maybe naked. Those who like to experiment also use other parts of the body such as thighs or the chest to rub against the partner's clitoris.

2. The penetration

If you want to recreate the heterosexual act of love, you choose penetration. Then you have to choose whether you prefer to use your own fingers or an aid. Fingers have the advantage that they are human and thus feel more, which can be nicer for both. However, some fingers are too small, too thick or have pointed fingernails. In any case, depending on your position, it can be very uncomfortable and exhausting for your hand and arm. The physical fit of men and women is a little better coordinated. Aids such as strap-ons or double dildos can help. They also have the advantage that you can freely determine the size and shape. However, I find many double dildos unsuitable because they often slip out - a real mood killer! Pelvic floor training (e.g. also with love balls) can help.

3. The finger play

In my opinion, there is still a mixed form of rubbing and penetration, which is so different that I list it separately. Many women describe to me the rather technical, exhausting or hard processes of rubbing and penetrating as sometimes very unsatisfactory. You We want to "make love", not fuck. Of course, there are days when uninhibited, animal sex is exciting. But the line to uncomfortable and instrumentalized sex is sometimes crossed - mostly unconsciously - especially by men, sometimes also by women. Who wants to feel like an object when it comes to the most intimate connection between two people? That's why finger play is very popular in my eyes. Few women come vaginally (through penetration), many love an orgasm that is induced clitorally. But for that you need a 'knack'. Too much or too little pressure can quickly turn off. Not to mention poking around. Some women love circular movements, others longitudinal or transverse movements. Fast, slow - the possibilities and preferences are diverse. The key to success is: paying attention to others and speaking openly about likes and dislikes.

4. Oral sex

For me the most sensual, intimate and satisfying kind of lovemaking. Since the mouth and tongue have so many muscles and sensory receptors, I think it makes the whole thing even more intense. When the fit between two people is right, oral sex is heaven to me. Unfortunately, this is rare. If it doesn't fit, it can quickly become repulsive under certain circumstances. It also takes a lot of trust and closeness to allow and give oral sex. Similar to finger play, everything can be done right here, but many things can also quickly be done wrong. Some women like a little sucking, others a little more (perhaps also the reason why clitoral stimulation devices “womanizer” are very popular right now). A pointy tongue (but not too pointy!) Or rather the entire width of the tongue, only penetrating around the clitoris or a little bit - again there are different preferences. Incidentally, oral sex can of course be given and received at the same time. That can be nice too.

Is that already lesbian sex?

Wow, half the (or even the whole) world seems to be asking itself this question - including lesbian women themselves. The answers to when a tenderness is sex are very different:

  • Sex is penetration
  • It is only really “sex” when I have an orgasm
  • When I touch each other's private parts
  • Sex is only between a man and a woman

For reasons of tolerance and justice, some of these answers are rather not recommended. Is it so important when something can be called "sex"? For me it's about tenderness, intimacy and the greatest possible symbiosis.

We humans have been given great bodies, everyone is beautiful in their own way. How and with whom we make love and in what intensity and form, everyone can keep it as they want. It is important that everyone feels comfortable with it. That in turn has to do with appreciation. That should - also and especially - come first when making love. In my opinion, the biggest secret for great - even magical - sex is to see and desire other people. You can only achieve unearthly orgasms with total surrender. I often hear from women who come from heterosexual relationships that they were not previously familiar with orgasms like those experienced with women. Perhaps it is due to the constellation, but perhaps it would also be very helpful for one or the other man to reflect again on the four basic directions for lesbian sex described and to be inspired. Because in my eyes they are not that lesbian.

* The asterisk is used in the LGBTI scene (Lesbian-Gay-Bi-Trans-Inter) to address all those who do not feel they belong to any of the five categories (LGBTI). I would also like to address the people who ask the initial question but do not identify as heterosexual.

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