What makes a person look aloof

Aloofness

Aloofness - Dealing with one of the dark sides of human existence. Aloofness means that someone is unwilling or unable to come into personal contact with others. Aloofness can also be a sign of pride or arrogance. Those who think they are better than others may not want to get in touch with the common people. In earlier times, a certain aloofness was one of the characteristics of nobles. Aloofness makes you interesting.

Kindness, important when you are aloof

In English there is the expression: "Familiarity breeds contempt". Excessive familiarity creates contempt. Business also recommends that leaders not be too friendly with their team members. In order to be able to fulfill the leadership role, you need a certain distance, a certain aloofness. Others doubt this and generally recommend flatter hierarchies and a more amicable management style.

But aloofness can also come from being introverted. Introverts are more reluctant to come into contact with complete strangers and therefore often seem aloof. Most of the time, however, they are happy when the other person takes the first step. Aloofness can also come from grief and suffering. Some people close when they are not doing well. You then seem quite aloof. Others then withdraw. It can be that the suffering person needs them especially at the moment.

So it is often best to keep approaching depressed people despite their aloofness. You shouldn't be pushy, but always offer your help with kindness.

Aloofness and introversion

From a lecture by Sukadev Bretz from the series Ethics in Everyday Life 2016

Life is a little harder with a thick armor. There is more protection for that.

Maybe you have the impression that someone around you seems aloof, he / she has a cold heart, doesn't like you, somewhere you can't get to him / her. You think it might be closed, aloof. And maybe you don't like that, you would like to get closer to someone. You can consider: What is behind the aloofness? Some people then make such conclusions and say: yes, he is probably arrogant, has had bad experiences with people somewhere, needs to form a tank, protect himself somewhere, he has a lack of self-esteem and therefore he has to be aloof. But maybe none of that is true. Perhaps that simply means that the person is introverted.

There are people who are more introverted and people who are more extroverted. It is said that a quarter of people are introverted, a quarter extroverted, half are somewhere in between or sometimes introverted. The introverts are different in temperament and in fact introversion and extraversion are innate to some extent. And the respective quarters are just like that. It is of no use to accuse someone of aloofness and heartlessness, but be aware, "yes, he has introversion." And also when people see you as aloof or even heartless and say "You are so heartless. You are so cold.", And you do not understand that. Because actually you are full of love, compassion, you feel for other people, you stand up, your whole life may consist of it and then there is someone who calls you aloof, heartless.

Be aware that the other person just thinks you have to be just like the extroverts: Happy around the area, "you know, have you heard what I have experienced?" and run up to people and just hug them. You may be someone, when someone runs up to you and hugs you, you may feel "urgh, be careful, what does he want from me?" Different temperament. So if someone calls you aloof and heartless, just say, "No, I'm an introvert". Then maybe people think a little bit.

As an introvert you can also try to smile more at people, introverts can do that too, you don't have to talk too much. You can look at people, smile at them, nod. You can, and you can try to say something friendly more often. It doesn't have to be a lot. And maybe you can try to give up the defensive stance when someone is running towards you for a moment and just enjoy the other person's enthusiasm. The other is therefore not superficial, but just extroverted. Hence, introversion correlates with Aloofness. Aloofness doesn't mean someone is heartless. It can just mean he's an introvert.

Dealing with the unapproachability of others

From a lecture by Sukadev Bretz (2016)

There are people who seem very aloof, you don't get close to them, they talk little about their feelings, they do not approach others, they have a dismissive effect. How do you deal with it?

One possibility is: just ignore this, you don't have to get close to everyone. If some people are more of an individualist, if they are introverted, maybe they don't want to get in touch with everyone.

The second possibility is: get in touch with the unapproachable. When you both have some time, go for a walk with the other, take them over for tea or you go to the canteen together. Listen to the other person or ask the other person for advice. Even aloof people, when asked for advice, suddenly tell something.

Ask him or her for help, there is little that connects people so much as when they connect with each other. Sometimes aloof people are the ones whose friendship is best built on in the long term. It takes a little getting started, but it also lasts longer.

Aloofness in relation to other personality traits

Aloofness belongs to the group of personality traits, downsides, vices and virtues. To better understand this character trait, let's relate it to others:

Synonyms aloofness - similar characteristics

Synonyms aloofness are for example Seclusion, reserve, arrogance, distance, inaccessibility, untouchability, silence, restraint, sublimity .

The synonyms can be divided into two groups, those with a positive connotation and those with a negative connotation:

Synonyms with negative connotation

Synonyms that are commonly interpreted as negative are, for example

Synonyms with positive connotation

Synonyms with a positive connation can help to see an apparently dark side positively. Synonyms with positive connotation are for example

Antonyms of aloofness - opposites

Antonyms are opposites. Antonyms, i.e. opposites, of aloofness are for example Openness, accessibility, open-mindedness, responsiveness, receptivity, talkativeness, permeability, naivety, naivety . You can also divide the antonyms, the opposites, into those with a positive connotation and those with a negative connotation.

Antonyms with positive connotation

Antonyms, i.e. opposites, to a vice, a shadowy side, a negative personality trait, are commonly interpreted as an opposite pole. These can be cultivated in order to overcome the vice, the dark side. So here are some opposing poles to aloofness that have a positive connotation:

Antonyms with negative connotation

The opposite of a shadowy side, a vice, is not always positive. Here are a few examples of antonyms about aloofness, but they are not seen as beneficial:

Properties in the alphabet before or after

Here are some characteristics that come before or after aloofness in the alphabet:

Property group

Inaccessibility can be counted under the following two groups of characteristics:

Related words

Related words to unapproachable are, for example, the adjective unapproachable and the noun unapproachable.

Those who are unapproachable are unapproachable or unapproachable.

See also

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