Fat girls can be pretty too

Quite.Schön.Dick - Can you think you are beautiful if you are fat?

Steffi Hidber from the blog heypretty.ch doesn't understand at all what beauty should have to do with weight. And certainly not with happiness and satisfaction. A guest post.

I know that my family and friends love me for who I am. This obviously also applies to my blog readers and Instagram followers. And yet I wonder if everyone is asking behind closed doors: "Where does she get her self-confidence from?". Because I'm really fat: 95 kg at 167 cm. And I not only find myself okay, but ... BEAUTIFUL.


The discussion is open.

Or do you want to click on my picture first, enlarge it and measure me according to the scale that every woman uses in her head - you know, this "is-she-thicker-than-me-or-thinner-than-me" classification ? It won't change the fact that I like myself for who I am. In fact really.

It is obviously abnormal to say to yourself, "You look REALLY good today, old woman!"

It all started with a post that I published on my beauty blog almost a year ago - a place that is actually not about body positivity, but about lip gloss and anti-aging creams and favorite books.

After a harmless compliment from my private environment to one of my teenage daughters ("You lost your weight!"), I let myself be carried away to a real "rant" (you can read it here) that we girls shouldn't raise it to define their happiness through their body weight. In doing so, I asked myself whether my character was just setting an example for my daughters, or whether it was more of a deterrent to them.

The feedback came quickly and unfiltered.

And for the most part extremely positive - also from my friends' circle of friends, where the feature had led to really good discussions. What frightened me, however, were the many comments from adult, seasoned women who wished that they could treat their own figure as benevolently as I apparently did. Then I realized that it is obviously abnormal to stand in front of the mirror and say: "You look REALLY good today, old woman!".

Does the average woman really only see cellulite, love handles and broken veins?

Is it really the case that the average woman - whether young or old, whether gazelle or hippopotamus - looks at each other and only sees cellulite, love handles and broken veins? Do women really, like in the advertising in the past, grab their little pelvis and say to themselves in a hateful voice "That sucks!"? REALLY?

And if so: why don't I do that? I have every reason to! Fluffy 45-year-old connective tissue characterized by two pregnancies and a life full of buttered rolls and Prosecco, a fat bottom, stocky legs, flabby upper arms. And even now, while I am typing these words, EVERYTHING in me is standing cross: Who would want to give space to such toxic, destructive thoughts?

Of course, I don't happily stroke my fat belly every morning

There is so much more amazing I could say about myself! I'm a good friend, give money to homeless people, dress well, listen well, have beautiful eyes, and really eat everyone Tag vegetables and fruits. Sometimes even organic!

I'm very worried that I'm being hailed as a reluctant body positivity role model - just because I can publicly say that I think I'm beautiful.

Of course, I don't happily stroke my fat belly every morning and whisper tender words to my thighs ... but I would never use my fat belly as an excuse why I am not successful, am not loved, and could not be happy.

For me, "beautiful" has unbelievably little to do with weight. Beautiful is good style, beautiful is a great charisma, it is nice to feel good about looking different.

We are bombarded by slim, beautiful women in the media

Is it really necessary for me to stand as a fat man and say, "If I can love all of this ... why can't YOU?" Shockingly, the answer seems to be "yes". That only proves the fact that Barbara.de even asked me to write something about it here on this platform, cough.

Of course, we are still being bombarded by slim, beautiful women in the media, and it will continue to be. But I think it's great that my daughters are growing up at a time when they can simply search for hashtags like #bodypositivity, #loveyourself or #girlscandoanything on their smartphone to determine which messages and role models they want to be showered with.

All I can say is that I am happy when it helps you accept your body and find you beautiful, when you see women like me walking A SANDWICH in a tight animal print dress on the street EAT.

If I take an Instagram picture of it, but not with the hashtag #selflove, but rather #hatjemandzahnseide?