How can I deal with my stepfather
How should a stepfather respond to “You are not my father!”?
I was raised by a stepfather, and yes, "You are not my real dad" is an "Ultimate Defense" used to hurt and only hurt when you feel uncomfortable and you feel like you have no arguments having more of why you shouldn't be allowed to do something / be forced to do something. It is the equivalent of saying "you are stupid". He's not going to change his mind about how he feels about you, or maybe he will, and that's okay.
Don't let his words hurt you. Admit he's right, that "you're not his real father". Affirm that it is not important to you not to be his birth father because you still care for him. You forbid him [smoking, drinking, whatever] because you care.
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