Why did my friend ejaculate very quickly

Arriving too early: what's behind it and what you can do

Unfortunately, in the best of relationships, men come too early in intercourse. But that doesn't mean that you have to come to terms with premature ejaculation. Fortunately, because if the problem occurs more often it can be very stressful for the relationship: feelings of shame in the partner, frustration in the partner, difficulties for both parties to address the sensitive topic ...

It is extremely important to openly discuss (especially) sexual problems in order to get to the bottom of them and find a solution. It would be a shame to do the most beautiful thing in the world in relation to the taboo subject. And to ensure that this does not happen, we explain everything you need to know about premature ejaculation (or "ejaculatio praecox", as it is professionally called), and above all what you can do about it.

What are the causes of premature ejaculation and how can you prevent it? Here is some useful information!

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When does one even start talking about "arriving too early"?

Are we talking about minutes or even seconds? Of course, it is difficult to say what exactly is still "normal" and what is "too early". Mostly, one speaks of premature ejaculation when the man can no longer voluntarily control the time of ejaculation and sometimes comes while he is just penetrating.

There is also a so-called diagnostic classification system of the World Health Organization. After that, an ejaculation is "too early" after 15 seconds or less. Other medical professionals also speak of 30 seconds or even a minute.

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The reasons why men arrive early

The problem with premature ejaculation can be physical or psychological.

1. Physical causes of premature ejaculation

If the partner often comes "too quickly", physical illnesses such as diabetes mellitus or urinary tract infections can be the cause. Sometimes ejaculatio praecox is also due to the side effects of medication or drugs. The problem can also be related to erectile dysfunction. It goes without saying that a doctor should be consulted here.

2. Psychological causes of premature ejaculation

In addition to organic causes, psychological causes such as stress, relationship problems or simply too high expectations can also be responsible for premature ejaculation. In this case too, if the problem is very troubling, the man can consult a doctor. Because it is not uncommon for the problem to worsen when you are constantly dealing with fear of failure - at some point nothing works. Therefore: keep calm, that happens to many men, and above all: you can do something about it!

What can the doctor do?

If the psychological strain is high, the doctor can prescribe medication or even sex therapy. A drug with the active ingredient dapoxetine has been on the market since mid-2009, which was specially approved for the treatment of premature ejaculation and is intended to delay premature ejaculation.

There are also various creams and gels that have a slightly numbing effect on the glans, so that the irritation and thus the arousal is reduced. Condoms also ensure that the friction during sexual intercourse is less intense for him.

However, one should realize that medications, creams and gels do not fix the problem in and of themselves, but only alleviate the discomfort. Because sometimes "arriving too early" is just a matter of the head. And you can train them:

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What can you do as a couple?

Of course, it puts a strain on the sex life and the relationship if he constantly comes too quickly. After all, women don't get their money's worth during sex and he plagues himself with the feeling of failing in bed. But pushing with frustration does not get you any further here. Talking about it is important - but please without reproach and without breaking the topic. If both of them constantly address their "coming too early" - possibly even "during that time" - the problem will eventually become a sure-fire success.

Better: Have an open ear, show understanding - and train! Because yes, you can help your partner work on their timing problem. There are different techniques with which you can practice together during sex to delay your orgasm and thus to enjoy the mutual excitement for longer.

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1. The squeeze technique

With the squeeze technique, the woman presses with the thumb, index and middle finger on a point just below the edge of the glans shortly before he is about to come. The whole thing as firmly as possible and for about 15 seconds. The pressure decreases his excitement, the penis relaxes slightly and the risk of premature ejaculation is for the time being averted.

This technique can be repeated several times - whenever it should be necessary. In time, both partners will find out for themselves how hard the woman should push. And of course the man can also use this technique while masturbating to practice.

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2. The stop-and-go technique

With the stop-and-go technique, she stimulates him orally or with the hand for as long as he thinks he can control himself. As soon as he thinks that it is no longer possible, she stops her pampering program until he has everything under control again. Guide value: Ideally, heating up should last around five minutes, followed by a one-minute break.

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The whole thing is repeated several times and serves as training for him. Last time, of course, things can go on - as a reward for both of them. The aim of this exercise is that the man can control himself better and recognize when things get tough and he has to withdraw. This is how it should work with "real" sexual intercourse, that is, with penetration. Of course, the man can also practice this technique alone - but it is certainly more fun with two.

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No matter what, try not to lose the fun of sex. It is not a high-performance sport and not a competition. And it's not a crime to just NOT work.

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