Do daughters enjoy fantasizing about their fathers?
Mom blog -
Trust instead of holding on forever: Fathers should allow their daughters an autonomous love life. Photo: iStock
As a father you have your own ideas about what should become of the children - what they should and should not do. You can be persistent with the first broccoli and parsnip mash and brushing your teeth in early childhood. But as the children get older, we have to break away from our fixed ideas.
Now nobody is perfect. I don't blame anyone who secretly thinks: «It would be nice if my Lea marijuana also had a federal diploma. Becomes an expert in accounting and controlling. " And of course it is legitimate for the dad in Zizers to talk to Mia-Bigna about whether she would like to take over the parental pig fattening business after all.
There is one thing that fathers should no longer interfere with their wishes: the sexuality of their daughters. I have rounded up zero point zero zero understanding for fathers who pretend to be patriarchal guardians and protectors: "That Anouk-Enja has sex before thirty is out of the question!" Violent fantasies are often not far away: "When Aurelia-Louana brings a boy home, I first show the wretch my collection of shotguns." The big sayings are implemented in practice with strict rules: «Prinzessli, remember, you have to be home by 8:59 pm. Then I'll check you with the UV lamp and with the sperm tracking dog. Please don't forget to put on your GPS ankle cuffs. "
Ankle cuffs versus condoms in a multipack
These fathers treat their sons very differently: “Maximilian-Jason, high five! Did I hear the keyword party? Let it rip, my boy. Here's a condom ... wait, take the whole pack with you. Make Papi proud! "
Exaggerated? Bitzli maybe. But I've heard too many similar sayings. Therefore to all men who recognize themselves: something like that is not cool, funny or caring. You are not fighters for the safety of your daughters, but the opposite. Those who want their sons to have a more self-determined love life than their daughters are part of the problem.
Of course, as a father, you can take care of your daughters. Many girls and women experience sexual violence. But protecting them from this by determining their love and sex life is possessive and misogynous.
It can be done better and is not difficult
What do good fathers do? They educate, they trust and support their daughters.
Children who know about love and sex and who know important principles such as self-determination have an easier life during puberty. By the way, parents are allowed to convey that sex is something beautiful.
If parents trust their children and their decisions, the chances are good that the children will turn to them with problems, worries and success stories.
Welcome your children's partners and be there when problems arise. Specifically: As soon as your daughter asks you to do so, you are welcome to show your friend your shotgun collection.
Incidentally, these three principles work for parents and children of all genders and even when choosing a career. Unfortunately, they don't help with serving broccoli parsnips or when young children should brush their teeth. I have tested it.
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