How do I become emotionally strong and intelligent

More important than IQ: emotional intelligence

What is it and what does it cling to?

The IQ has relatively little to do with how well someone can get through life and create helpful relationships. Since a bestseller by Daniel Goleman, one catchphrase has become better known: emotional intelligence.

A high IQ comes in handy. It lets us quickly solve a problem analytically and helps us grasp complex issues. But it says little about success in life, because other skills are also crucial. They can be described in terms of emotional intelligence.

Use common sense

Those who are emotionally intelligent know how to use their common sense and find their way around the complex world more easily. Instead of being able to connect nine points arranged in three blocks with a continuous line in seconds, an emotionally intelligent person can assess everyday and interpersonal situations very quickly. He is independent and knows how to establish and maintain relationships with other people. His ability to recognize his own and other people's feelings, but also to influence them, provides the emotionally intelligent with helpful networks. His empathy makes him a popular contemporary who is able to resolve conflicts. The appreciation of others ultimately makes it easier for him to find support and to achieve his goals with reason and motivation.

Recognize and reflect on strengths and weaknesses

Those who have a high level of emotional intelligence recognize the strengths and weaknesses of others, but above all their own. This allows a constructive and reflective approach to one's own abilities and character traits: An emotionally intelligent person knows how to develop their strengths in the course of life and how to reduce weaknesses, which creates a feel-good atmosphere in their haze.

To deal with stress

A high EQ also means being able to deal with stress, i.e. developing so-called resilience. Because only those who perceive and accept their own feelings can influence them successfully and deal with stressful situations appropriately. Not playing down or dramatizing feelings is an emotionally intelligent quality.

Control impulses and postpone rewards

Putting emotions into practice in such a way that they lead to the goal is success. Emotionally intelligent people also have their impulses under control. They are masters of the so-called "delayed reward", so they can stay tuned to one thing, even if the reward is not until much later. This presupposes being able to abstract future emotions - for example the joy of a goal achieved - even if current impulses have to be managed.

Be empathic

Just like themselves, emotionally intelligent people can also assess other people. But be careful: empathy is a neutral term and does not necessarily mean something good. Emotionally intelligent people can also negatively influence and manipulate the emotions of others.

Motivate and provide orientation

Emotional intelligence is particularly helpful in working life. Because here too we need the ability to act constructively with people, to create support networks or to lead and motivate other people. Professional success is closely related to how integrable a person is - for example in a team - or how strongly they are able to assess colleagues, employees or superiors. The EQ helps in particular.

Emotional intelligence can increase

The great thing about emotional intelligence: It is expandable and usually grows with life experience. Wisdom, reason and feeling can flourish and grow in a different way than the classic IQ competencies. So here the EQ is much more flexible than the little changeable IQ. The EQ is not to be confused with the character: this is also relatively static. How do you find out how your Emotional Intelligence is doing?

Helpful questions for determining EQ

• How well do I know myself? Do I know how to react in which situations and, above all, why?

• Can I influence and control my mood? Or am I at the mercy of my feelings completely helpless?

• How well can I deal with my emotions and how do I react to other people's feelings?

• Can I communicate successfully and make myself understandable?

• How well can I deal with, respond to or influence people?

• Can I motivate other people and do I enjoy working with others?

• Can I give people orientation, am I asked for advice?

• How popular am I with other people? Are you looking for me near?