Bullies know they are bullying people

MIR method

To be laughed at is one of the greatest humiliations there is. Someone chooses you as the target of their ridicule and everyone in the audience laughs along with them. Like an outcast, they exclude you from the group. Those who laugh do this because they are afraid of being rejected themselves. You laugh or you are laughed at.

Pointing out your mistakes before everyone else

Another form of humiliation is when your mistakes are addressed in front of other people: "Why did you do so badly in our test?" "You are not very smart, are you?" You can choose to get angry or to remain silent. Most people choose the latter: you duck back, keep your mouth shut, and try not to attract attention. If you're one of the smart ones, it's better to get a little worse grades. If you are one of the sensitive, you should stay away and stay alone. At least that way they can't hurt you anymore.

Why is the bully bullying?

The greatest fear of many people is to be left out. What makes other people laugh at or publicly humiliate others? The “public” factor is particularly important here, because otherwise the bully has no power. And here's the crux of the matter: a bully is bullying, because he feels threatened by your presence. Because you are different, because you are smarter, because you get more compliments, while the bully himself is called stupid. It hurts them when other children get new things more often, have nicer parents, etc. It annoys them that you are different, that you wear different clothes, that other things are important. They don't understand you The bully feels threatened, which is enough reason for them to attack you. I refer to this as "biting out of fear," just like a frightened dog does when it suddenly feels threatened.

Why do adults bully each other?

In the adult world, bullying is just as bad, just more subtle. The bully needs to feel big because he actually feels small. Maybe he was bullied himself before? The adult bully pulls people down with innocent teasing and ridicule. At a party he makes a joke at someone else's expense, which sometimes becomes almost mean. For example, the other is accused or suspected of something. It is characteristic that there is a group that laughs with him / her. This group surrounds the bully and gives him / her power. That becomes too much for the bullied person. She either has to endure it or get away from it. Sometimes an entire agency or organization acts as a bully over people who are left out or humiliated.

The bullied person

The person being bullied often has a seriously weakened heart that you can still remember. The feeling that you cannot trust other people is engraved deeply in your soul. Nobody can change your mind. To be bullied means to suffer and never to live openly again. During coaching or therapy it usually becomes crystal clear how deep the wounds of the bullied person are.

The followers

There is also the group of followers. The people who laughed together and pointed their fingers at you. The people who thought it was fun and that you could handle it. They were then suddenly very quiet when the bullying was brought to light. These followers now, as adults, know what they have participated in. They realize how cowardly and mean they were for fear of making another person feel bad. They could have acted differently, but didn't dare - for fear that they would be the next target themselves. Exclude or be excluded.

The bullies

The third group are the bullies. People who used to bully live in pain today. They know what they did; they still remember and deep in their hearts they are deeply sorry. Usually they were jealous or angry, but what exactly? It's a part of them that they often keep hidden. After all, it “isn't right” to admit to having bullied in the past. These people usually spend the rest of their lives feeling guilty and hoping that they will never see their victims again. Especially not as your dentist!

Who has to heal?

All 3 groups need to be healed. The bullied, the followers and the bullied. All three are still victims of what happened back then. Fortunately, there are many ways you can heal yourself and let go of the old pain. One of these ways is the MIR-Method. When a victim of bullying uses the MIR-Method, he erases the old pain layer by layer. The feelings of sadness, anger and harassment disappear and the bullied person can finally forgive his tyrant. This is done through Step 3, “Uncoupling Father. Uncouple mother ”when the bullied person decouples the bully from his system. Important: if you are currently being bullied, the MIR-Method can help you to stop the bullying by changing from the inside out and getting stronger!

The follower heals his shame and becomes stronger as a person so that being a follower is the last thing he will ever want to go through again. The follower becomes insensitive to peer pressure.

The bully eventually heals his guilty feelings. He can forgive himself or realize that the victim of bullying has long forgiven him because he already knew that the bully was acting out of pain and powerlessness.

Your biggest fear is that you are powerful beyond measure!

"Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond all measure!" This phrase is known from a beautiful poem by Marianne Williamson. And I'm slowly starting to understand him. When people are bullied, it is almost impossible for them to stand up for themselves. The risk is too high. With the MIR-Method you can let go of your feeling of danger. You start out by being liberated, smart or dynamic, dancing, singing or being great at sports. You dare to be different, shine and take a leadership role! Can I ask you for a dance? About the dance of your life?

Make you feel my love

Bob Dylan (later sung by singer Adele) wrote a beautiful song, “Make You Feel My Love”, which I would like to dedicate to all people who have been bullied. Maybe you can feel a little of my love through him, so that your heart, your self-confidence, your being can completely heal! Because when you realize what is hidden inside you, you will understand why I work so hard for you!

I wish you good luck and freedom!
Mireille Mettes

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