Am I really special?

Self-discovery: 18 tips to find out what you really want

Most of my life I've been totally confused ...

I had no idea who I was, where I was going, or what I was going to do with my life.

Are you feeling the same?

Does your life feel FALSE somehow?

Do you want to finally know WHO you are and WHAT the fuck the hell you gotta do with your life?

Then you are exactly right here!

Special: Do that free self-discovery test and find out what type of personality you are. Find out which characteristics make you stand out and which professions you are particularly suitable for. You can go directly to the test here: Self-discovery test

In this article, I'll tell you all the tips and tricks that have helped me enormously in my self-discovery phase.

No theoretical gibberish, but practical methods with which you can quickly and easily find out who you are and what you REALLY want.

Sounds good?

Let's go:

Table of Contents

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Self-discovery - what does that actually mean?

Self-discovery just means:

You know your inner desires and needs. You know exactly what you love, what you can do and what is good for you.

The good thing about it is: With this knowledge you can get the best out of yourself and shape your life in such a way that you are happy and successful (almost) every day.

So self-discovery helps you to resolve the confusion in your head and to come to more clarity. Then you know where you want to go in life, you can set goals and actively approach them.

I'll tell you one thing from experience:

This “Who am I? / What do I really want? ”- The question is perhaps the most important question you can ever ask yourself.


Because the answer to this question determines your WHOLE life! I'll get to that in a little more detail ...

However, the path to self-discovery is sometimes a bit rocky:

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Why is self-discovery so difficult?

The biggest problem is the endless possibilities you have these days.

In the past, hardly anyone thought about “self-discovery” - you were simply born into your role in life.

Today, however, you no longer have to do the same job as your parents or take over the family business.

You have many more options: you can live in the country or in the city or you can backpack the world ... you can become a top manager or social worker ... employee or entrepreneur ...

On the one hand that's great - on the other hand it's also a huge problem!


These many possibilities mean that you try a thousand ways and never find the right path to happiness and success.

However, looking for and finding this path is super important.

Self-discovery: The most important foundation for a happy life

As soon as you know who you are and what you want to do with your life, suddenly a whole new world is open to you:

In the following section I will show you how you can best deal with these thousand possibilities and find out in record time what you really want to do in life:

The fastest way to find out what you really want

Finding out what you really want is rarely a straight line. Rather, it is - as in the picture on the right - a path with many branches and wrong turns.

TIP: Do you want to know which of your areas of life is already going well and in which areas there are still opportunities for improvement? Then find out here -> with the online wheel of life

So that you don't waste your life forever, there are two methods to quickly find the right path:

  1. The Thinker Methods: These methods are suitable for anyone who likes to think. You ask yourself a few specific self-discovery questions and find out what your real needs are.
  2. The Action Methods: These methods are important for EVERYONE (more on this below). You simply try out everything possible and thereby gain practical experience. This way you can quickly see what you really enjoy and what you don't.

Let's get started right away:

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18 practical tips for self-discovery

Here they come - my best tips from over 10 years of experience in self-discovery:

The thinker methods

These methods are about answering the questions either in writing or simply quickly in your head. Often you don't have to think about it for hours. The first thing that comes to mind is usually the best - even if the idea doesn't seem logical and sensible to you at all!

And sometimes the questions still have an effect if you “take them with you into the day” after reading them.

So: read through and let it work.

Have fun!

1. Become a survivor

Suppose you are on vacation and you have neither money nor credit card with you. How and with what could you spontaneously earn money at the holiday destination?

Which of your skills and talents could you use to inspire the other tourists so that they will pay for your food and your hotel room?

And which of them would you really enjoy?

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2. Take a journey through time

Imagine going back in time and meeting yourself as a 10 year old kid. It asks you what has become of you (or him).

What would you have to say so that your child gets shining eyes from back then and says "Wow, how COOL !!!"?

3. Learn from your heroes

Which people fascinate you or did you find it fascinating as a child?

They don't have to be actors, singers, or other famous people. People from your family, your neighborhood or your company can also inspire you.

It is only important that you think about WHAT fascinates you so much about these people. Which characteristics and special features are they and which of them would you like to adopt for yourself?

4. Use your energy compass

Which activities (no matter if job, hobby or household) rob you of energy and which revive you?

Most people believe that it is perfectly normal to feel tired and exhausted after a long day at work.

Is not it!

Think about your vacation. You will probably go on excursions, be on the road all day and still not be as exhausted in the evening as after work. Correct?

So use your energy level as a compass and do more of what GIVES you energy in your life.

5. What your places of power reveal to you

Not only certain activities can give us energy and make us happy, but also so-called places of power.

These are places where we feel good and where we really like to be. This could be vacation spots, a certain corner of your apartment, a park nearby or a nice café ...

Think about what your places of power are and what defines these places. Are there a lot of people, a lot of hustle and bustle, a lot of adventure ... or is it rather lonely and quiet, a lot of nature and so on?

All of these are clues as to where you would feel most comfortable overall in your life.

6. Make the "no way" list

You really need a piece of paper and pen for this exercise, but it's also a lot of fun.

Just write down everything you NEVER want to do in your life. Let your imagination run wild (this exercise is also great fun with friends).

Then look through the list again and consider for each point WHY you do not want to do this thing under any circumstances. Do you find anything in common?

For example, if you don't want to be a bricklayer, a gardener or a roofer, it could be that you can completely exclude manual professions or professions in the open air ...

7. Zero-minded paths - this is how you avoid dead ends

Are there things in your life that you don't feel like doing at all and that you only do because others expect you to?

And I don't mean little things like taking out garbage or the tax return ...

I mean something like a degree, vocational training, further education and so on. Things that someone (your parents, your partner, your boss, society ...) thinks is right and that you feel that you really don't want? Then forget it!

My tip is:

ALWAYS follow your heart.

No matter what it is - if it doesn't feel good, don't do it !!!

(You want to take full responsibility for your life and no longer let others decide for you? Then take a look here: Taking responsibility: 6 simple tips for more personal responsibility)

8. Hobby or job - Here's how to find out

Before you start any new professions, always think about whether you REALLY want to do it professionally.


You love yoga and that's why you come up with the idea of ​​training to be a yoga teacher. But do you really want to TEACH it? Day after day from morning to evening?

Or would you just like to have a job that gives you enough free time for your yoga sessions? Not every hobby is automatically suitable as a profession.

So always try to think a few years ahead: Can you imagine doing this job every day in 5 years?

9. The end times scenario as a guide

Imagine some catastrophe almost wiped out the world and there are only a handful of survivors.

Civilization is gone. So there are no more supermarkets, no factories and nobody needs money anymore. (Similar to "The Walking Dead".)

What could you do to help your group survive? What skills can you contribute with?

This exercise is particularly suitable for anyone looking for a USEFUL activity. For something the world really needs ...

10. Follow the animal trail

If you were an animal - which one would you like to be?

And you are probably wondering what this question has to do with self-discovery ...

Very easily:

Think about the characteristics of your animal! Is it a loner or a herd animal? Freedom-loving, sedentary or constantly on the move? Always hard-working or more relaxed?

(By the way, I don't know anyone who wants to be a sheep or a worker bee ... we all seem to like a free and self-determined life.)

11. The idea of ​​rebirth - get inspired

Whether you believe in it or not, just imagine being reborn again.

What would you like to be born as if you had the freedom to choose?

Where would you like to live, what strengths and abilities would you like to have and what would you most like to do for a living?

12. Ask yourself the 100 million euro question

Finally, a classic:

What would you do for the rest of your life if you never had to work for money again?

And really think a little further than “house, sports car and trip around the world”. Logical - you first fulfill all your wishes and enjoy your new luxury.

But what then?

What would you do in 5 or 10 years so you don't die of boredom?

The further you think into the future with this question, the more revealing the answers.

Special: Do that free self-discovery test and find out what type of personality you are. Find out which characteristics make you stand out and which professions you are particularly suitable for. You can go directly to the test here: Self-discovery test

So, that's enough of the brain teasers for now. Now, let's get to the methods where you go into action instead of just brooding:

The action methods

Self-discovery questions are great, but remember one thing:

In the end you will never find the solution in your head, but only by actually trying things out!

We think many ideas are really great in our heads, but in reality they don't really suit us. So sooner or later you have to get into action and try things out.

My practical and proven action methods will therefore take you directly to the realization of what you want to do with your life:

13. Trying is about studying

As soon as you have any ideas what you could do: give it a try!

Use your free time, your weekend or your vacation and just try out a few professions. Most companies have an “open house” every now and then. Or you just ask if you can take a look inside for a day.

Craft businesses and smaller family businesses in particular look forward to any support. Especially when it comes for free.

The more you try, the faster you will find out what you enjoy and what you don't.

14. Plant new ideas in your head

Especially when you have been thinking about what you should actually do in life for a long time, you may not have any new ideas at all.

You somehow turn in a circle and try the same thing over and over again ...

It helps to consciously gain completely new experiences:

  • Read a book or attend a seminar on a topic that has never interested you before.
  • If you usually go to rock concerts, go to the opera instead.
  • Watch a movie that doesn't suit your interests at all.
  • Or try a new restaurant and order a dish you've never eaten before.

The more often you leave your usual path, the more flexible your brain becomes and suddenly you get ideas that you would not even have dreamed of before!

15. Treat yourself to a break for myself

Most of our lives we are busy fulfilling any other expectations or making compromises. Unfortunately, we never find out what we EVERYDAY want most of all! Therefore…

Take a vacation - ALONE!

If you have family and therefore can't go away alone for a long time, a weekend or a day off is enough ...

The most important thing is that you can do what you want one hundred percent. Because only when you don't have to be considerate of anyone and nobody is chatting into your day or vacation planning will you find your true wishes!

Maybe you think now:

Sitting in the café, lying on the beach, reading a book ... that's all well and good, but it doesn't pay the rent.

But that's not what this is about. It's about getting back in touch with your innermost needs and finding yourself! As long as you do not succeed in THAT, you will not find your "calling" either.

16. Take the Who Am I? Survey

Our self-image is shaped by our beliefs, our experiences and what we have heard from our parents, teachers and educators.

We mostly don't see ourselves as we really are (or could be.)


We often perceive our own strengths as "normal" and do not even check that we can do something special!

Therefore, ask your friends and acquaintances which qualities they appreciate in you. What strengths they see in you. And what potential.

It is often very amazing what others see in us.


DO NOT ask your parents or other close family members. They mostly have their own ideas about how you SHOULD be and are not objective.

17. New people - new inspirations

When it comes to self-discovery, it is not only people who know us well who can help us. Strangers are also very suitable for this.

Maybe you have already experienced this:

You get a new colleague, a new member appears in the sports club or your friends introduce you to their new acquaintances. And suddenly these strangers bring completely new ideas and new momentum into your life ...

They may have unusual hobbies or exciting jobs. Maybe you dream of emigrating or have already walked the Camino de Santiago ... New people can be incredibly inspiring.

Try to get to know new people as often as possible. Thanks to the Internet and Facebook, it's really easy these days.

PS: If you are rather shy and reserved, this exercise also strengthens your self-confidence.

18. Find the right solution in a relaxed manner

Have you ever hectically searched for your car key because you had to leave in a few minutes? Or turned your office upside down because your boss wanted a certain document from you IMMEDIATELY?

Then you have surely noticed:

Trying to find something under stress usually doesn't work.

It is of course the same with self-discovery. The more desperate you are looking for your "destiny" and the more pressure you put on yourself, the more confused you become. The chaos in your head gets worse and worse.

Therefore: relax!

As soon as the stress disappears from your head, there is suddenly room for new ideas and insights.

And the best way to relax deeply and consciously is through meditation. Here you will find a simple and practical guide to it: Learn meditation - A little guide

Which path to self-discovery do you go?

Now you have 18 methods you can use to find out what you really want.

My advice is:

Pick 1 - 2 methods and get started today. The choice is yours. There is no right or wrong. Try out the tips that spontaneously feel best for you.

And always remember:

Relax and have fun!

Difficulty in finding yourself

Since I've been in the self-discovery phase for half of my life, I of course also know the typical problems and hurdles.

So that YOU can reach your goal faster and easier than me, here are a few extra tips:

I've tried a thousand things, but still haven't found a solution

Some people find it a little harder to find themselves than others. This is completely normal.

In this case, these more in-depth ones will help you Self-discovery questions. Take a look at this graphic:

(click here to read more)

Here you see the 3 most important areas of your life when it comes to finding your “calling”. These 3 areas are:

  • Everything you love - So e.g. your hobbies, your interests and what you like to do in your free time or on vacation
  • Everything that you are good at - these are your strengths, your talents, everything that comes easy to you as well as all the training and further education that you have
  • Everything the world needs from you - this includes all things with which you can help others or which you are often asked for anyway

As you can see, there are certain areas that overlap.

You will only find your true “calling” in the middle - where all 3 areas intersect. Because only if you do what you love, what you are good at AND what the world needs, you can develop your full potential and be successful with it.

As soon as one of the 3 areas is missing, the following difficulties arise:

  • If you love something and are good at something - but so that it doesn't benefit anyone - it's just a hobby.
  • You are very good at something that the world needs, but you don't love it? Then you will never be happy with it.
  • You love something and the world needs it, but you can't? Then you can learn it, but it costs you time, money and energy.

So it makes sense to find your "center".

How you do it, I will explain to you now:

Get a large piece of paper and a pen.

Make three columns on the piece of paper and write “What I love”, “What I'm good at” and “What the world needs”. Underneath you then write down everything you can think of about the 3 points.

Next you look for the matches. So all things that in all 3 columns Pop up. It is best to mark these points in color.

Exactly THESE marked points are now the reference to your "calling".

Take a little time for this exercise. If you can't think of answers right away - no problem. It often takes something to awaken your inner intuition, especially if you've only looked for your answers outside ...

Don't put yourself under pressure!

This is not a test that you have to hand in after 90 minutes.

Just let the questions sink in for a while. Get some fresh air, take a walk, or meditate.

Over time you will come up with more and more answers and the right points will crystallize out.


I have so many ideas and can't decide ("scanner personalities")

There are people who are enthusiastic about ONE thing all their life, e.g. football or mathematics or archeology ...

And there are people who want to do everything: be actors, programmers and taxi drivers while learning Chinese and setting up a martial arts club.

These are the so-called Scanner personalities.

(click here to read more)
Your problem:

If you decide to do ONE thing, you always have the feeling that you are missing out on something else important in your life. But of course you can't do everything at the same time ...

Therefore there are a few special tips for scanners:

  1. Realize that you are a scanner and accept yourself for who you are!
  2. Note: You don't have to decide on a topic - you can make a new decision at any time.
  3. Make a plan for the next 6 years. That takes an incredible amount of pressure off of you to want to realize all projects in the next 3 months.
  4. Find your personal scanner rhythm: Some scanners can only concentrate on a topic for an hour and then need something new to do. Others only feel the urge to start something new after several days, weeks or even months. Find the rhythm that is perfect for you and then concentrate hourly, daily, weekly or monthly on your respective "focus topic".
  5. Always write down all of your ideas so they don't get lost.
  6. Don't feel bad if you've lost interest in something that recently got you excited. This is completely normal for scanners and defending yourself against it only costs you unnecessary strength and energy.


I can't break free from the wishes and expectations of others

The greatest obstacle to self-discovery and the subsequent self-realization are our fellow human beings.

Most of the time, they have no evil in mind.

Your parents only want what's best for you. Your partner is afraid that you will leave them on the path to self-discovery (same goes for your boss). Your colleagues fear that you will climb the corporate ladder faster than they will. And your girlfriend is jealous when you make your dreams come true ...

(click here to read more)
However, none of this should stop you!

Because what do all these people get out of it if you are NOT living the life of your dreams? What do they get if you are unhappy?

So free yourself from the expectations of others and go your own way.

You will often have to defend your (new) limits and sometimes have to say NO. You can find out here how to do this in a relaxed manner: Setting limits - How you learn to say NO

And then there's the fear of running out of love and appreciation for doing your own thing. Here, too, I can help you: Solve emotional dependency - 8 tips for more independence


I know exactly what I want, but I don't dare to make it happen

Fears are perfectly normal on the path to self-discovery.

You have to leave your usual path and venture out of your comfort zone. Of course, that feels a bit threatening at first ...

(click here to read more)
But remember:

Most fears are unfounded and only take place in your head. You don't have to turn your whole life upside down right away. Just start with very small steps.

The best remedy for fear is action!

Once you get into action, most fears will vanish into thin air. Suddenly you realize that your worries and fears were completely unnecessary. You have a sense of achievement and gradually trust yourself more and more.

Always remember the following Japanese proverb, which has ALWAYS proven to be correct in my life:

Where there is fear, there is the way.

Here you will find many more practical tips to overcome your fears: 3 tips to overcome your fears


The online self-discovery seminar

Have you tried all the tips and still not found the right solution for you?

Are you stuck and need someone to take you by the hand and guide you step by step through your self-discovery process?

Then get my online self-discovery seminar here - your guide to a happy life!

I put all my experiences from over 10 years of self-discovery into it, so that you can finally find out what you REALLY want.

And the best is:

You can do this online self-discovery seminar from the comfort of your home, whenever you feel like it and have the time. And you have lifelong access to all content and documents.