Can a prostitute have a boyfriend
If one suspects that the partner is cheating, one usually thinks first of a love relationship or a sex affair. But if it turns out that “the other” is a prostitute, a world often collapses.
“In most cases, however, the cause lies elsewhere,” says Mag. René Vodouschek, clinical psychologist and health psychologist at the Hartberg psychosocial counseling center. “It is human and legitimate to look for the fault in yourself first, but in principle it can be found in the partnership. In an upright relationship, a good communication culture is the basis for a stable and mature partnership. For many, however, it is not that easy to be open to one another. Some topics are burdened or taboo. If this happens with the topic of sexuality, there is a risk that needs cannot be satisfied because the partners do not talk about them. This deficit becomes a problem over time, especially when one of the partners tries to make up for it outside of the partnership, ”explains the counselor.
Little or no sex as well as individual fetishes or preferences are taboo topics in these partnerships. They are not expressed, sexual needs remain unfulfilled and are subsequently lived out outside of the relationship.
"The partner's visit to the prostitute doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship," says the expert. “When it becomes an issue for the first time, it usually triggers a state of shock, a strong initial reaction that subsides again. Here it is important to stay calm and not argue, even if there is a separation in the room. When this state of emergency is over and time and space fit, only then does it make sense to reflect together on whether and how the relationship will continue. If necessary, a couple counseling service can provide support, ”says Mag. Vodouschek.
The Austrian family counseling centers offer their help and arrange therapists. In therapy, the partners find their share in the crisis and can experience this as a new opportunity for the relationship.
“In a relationship that is open to any topic, this problem can also be solved together. Needs can be expressed, heard and accepted, which creates authentic togetherness and deep trust, ”says the psychologist. “Couples therapy is ideal in a relationship that is not ready for a solution. Depending on how both of you see the visit to the prostitute, compromises can arise here: As part of the male physical needs, decoupled from any emotion, the partner 'may' give in to these needs outside, for the partner, for example, a visit to the theater or more cuddling time agreed. The partner can also demand that he no longer live out his needs outside of the partnership. The range of possibilities here is very individual, ”explains Mag. Vodouschek in conclusion.
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